I *LOVE* SLEEP! and i love my body feelin well-rested (which doesn't happen often because my body is VERY finnicky and requires routine and a minimum of a solid 7 hours of sleep to feel well-rested)...since adjusting to workin nights I have been sleepin fine and dandy during the day, but on my days off i get totally thrown off bc either i continue to sleep during the day and stay up all night and dont get to see many people or do much since the world is essentially unavailable at those hours, OR i tweak my schedule to accomodate "normal living" which, in turn, sends my body into rage leaving me extremely fatigued, head throbbing, and reesaferd typically gets spurts of a cranky attitude...so uncool on so many levels...
TODAY, I'm actually doin ok so far..i worked mon-tues-wednesday night and then is stayed up ALL day thursday and then finally went to sleep at 830 last night..When I woke up this morning at 930 i felt ok..decently well-rested and my headache is only mild for the time being...I'm excited bc I actually got to watch Ellen, eat breakfast when normal people do, and I'm sitting in my living room and I actually have natural light brightening the apt! *Fabulous* I'm plannin on running some errands (the dreaded grocery store visit followed by trips to different stores lookin for more ideas for decorating the apartment and then workin out). Exercising is QUITE the chore since I been working nights bc the gym closes when im awake at night and want to go work out so either i dont work out or i have to sacrifice sleep. And it's not like I can just go for a run outside at 3am...probably not the safest. I'll do some exercises around the house, but it gets old feelin locked up inside the house all the time...sometimes I'll sit out on the patio with my lovely decorations and just bundle up and sit and stare at the lovely dark scenery that engulfs me. Gotta get fresh air somehow! I switch back to day shift November 16 which excites me bc then my days off will actually feel like days off, but I'm kinda nervous cuz i SUCK at getting up in the morning...it's weird...I'll get the SAME amt of sleep thru the night as i do during the day when i work night shift but for some reason i wake up so much easier at 6pm versus 6am...6am just isnt natural...but then again workin night shift isnt either sooooo im screwed. HaHa! Gotta that make that money and save lives so i guess sacrifices must be made..lol. I got my cycle for when I'm out of orientation and on my own and it's pretty sweet...i have 2 different times thru my 6 wk cycle where i could take 5 days of PTO and essentially have 16 days off in a row...now that's just fantabulous! That's 2 vacations right there! I really like how children's has a cycle, too, bc i can essentially know everyday im workin for the entire year! I know that's nothing new to you mon-fri workers but thats not the case for us hospital peoples! There's no "I work every mon, tues, and thursday" for us...it changes mostly every week...so I LOVE knowing which days i work in my 6wk cycle and then can plan accodingly since my cycle just plunks out thru the year! I'm plannin on pickin up OT tho once im out of orientation...got big plans that require moolah! haha... I'm nervous about rotating nights/days tho...I'm prayin my body can handle it bc I really like having days OFF and I really only get that workin days it feels like..also, i like both the atmosphere of day shift AND night shift so I hope to be able to do both...if i cant...night shift is the only option since there aren't any straight day shift positions available sooooo thats how im livin at the bottom of the todem (spelling?) pole!
NEXT subject-->SO my apartment is lookin more and more like a *home* Reesaferd and I have done some painting, bought a beautiful bed set, and now I'm workin on some lovely decor to give that homey touch...it just takes me a while haha...as of now the house looks like it's trying really hard at lookin complete but still has a few more miles to the finish line. What sucks about all this is that our lease is up at the end of May and if we have the money for a house we are DEF moving! Also, if reese gets a job in indy we will obviously not be renewing our lease...regardless of all this i really want to keep decorating...it just makes the place really feel like home instead of a basic floorplan that holds our furniture. I REALLY can't wait to have our own house to decorate...it must be nice knowin the time and effort into makin the house feel homey will LAST for a while...but that's just not the chapter in life we're livin yet! All in due time...
SPEAKING of "chapter's in life"...i been getting more and more nervous about having kids...Now, have no doubt there are no plans for lil baybays anytime soon for reese and i but eventually there will be and sometimes i really worry...Not bc i dont think reese and i will be great parents...thats not an issue at all...and im not worried about the finances of havin a family consisting of more than reese and i bc the God will provide...what makes me nervous is the health of our children..I'm surrounded by parents who got pregnant and the entire pregnancy never even thought that their baby wouldn't come out "perfect" like most parents think in blissful ignorance...when you're pregnant there's so much focus on the excitement, and thoughts of how beautiful and perfect the baby will be...the only worries are usually the lack of sleep...but "oh no, what if my baby is born with a heart defect and will require open heart surgery within days of being born followed by more surgeries to come, and the possibility that he/she won't make it"...when you aren't around sick kids all the time you don't think "oh geez, yea my baby looks perfect in health NOW but what if in a year he/she develops neuroblastoma or some other cancer?" I really HATE to be debby downer, but this is what i see...i see families sitting next to their newborn unable to be held, intubated, open chested, and sustained by surgical intervention and many drugs...when I went to the PICU to observe for a night I heard stories of perfectly healthy kids who have lived perfectly healthy lives up until 17 when suddenly they were diagnosed by cancer and then pass a year later...I see the hearts of families sitting on their shoulders, and I see beautiful little babies and kids sicker then any little innocent child should be and their parents waiting with hope that soon they will be able to take their little ones home...Don't get me twisted here, I'm am all to aware that the majority of kids ARE healthy and DO make it to adulthood just like you and I have and I'm also aware that many of the kids we see and treat DO go home with mom and dad and MAN DOES THAT FEEL GOOD! But what gets to me is the thought of my baby being born sick...or living a normal child life and then suddenly we're living a whole new story...it absolutely scares the mess out of me...
When I was pregnant with Tori (Jaliyah) I had NO WORRIES other than maintaining good grades and avoiding the seemingly unavoidable drama of you know who..I made sure to eat healthy and wat not but NEVER did i even consider the fact that she wouldn't be born perfect...10 fingers and 10 toes..a heart that beats strong and effectively, lungs that breathe life into her, and all the other organs that do as they were intended to...Now I feel like maurice and i are gonna get pregnant and im gonna be worried about EVERYTHING! I'm gonna make the ultrasound tech do a THOROUGH 2 hour exam of our growing little one to make sure everything is as should! AND im gonna request this lengthy exam Q2weeks!! hahaha...What keeps me sane and stops my worrying is knowing that God is good...and that HE is in control if i let Him be...and he wants all of His children to prosper...I know that I have NO control over whether my babies have heart defects or end up with cancer..I simply have no idea what the future holds...At the end of the day knowing that God is a GOOD God and a LOVING God and a HEALING God gives me peace...but my humanly thoughts often get in the way and it's hard not to question why God allows the things he does...and why can't all babies make it to adulthood? And why can't all adults live long healthy lives...especially when they took the time to actually care for their health...I just pray God will continue to prepare my heart and my mind so that when things don't go my way I will be able to face the changes with His strength and love...There's no way I'd NOT have kids just bc of my worries for them...But sometimes, seein what i see and knowing what i know, it's hard not to worry and, at times, think of the worst case scenario...Gotta keep makin my strides and allowing God to build and fill me up... and when life takes a difficult turn i hope i can remember to let HIS will be done...
When I was pregnant with Tori (Jaliyah) I had NO WORRIES other than maintaining good grades and avoiding the seemingly unavoidable drama of you know who..I made sure to eat healthy and wat not but NEVER did i even consider the fact that she wouldn't be born perfect...10 fingers and 10 toes..a heart that beats strong and effectively, lungs that breathe life into her, and all the other organs that do as they were intended to...Now I feel like maurice and i are gonna get pregnant and im gonna be worried about EVERYTHING! I'm gonna make the ultrasound tech do a THOROUGH 2 hour exam of our growing little one to make sure everything is as should! AND im gonna request this lengthy exam Q2weeks!! hahaha...What keeps me sane and stops my worrying is knowing that God is good...and that HE is in control if i let Him be...and he wants all of His children to prosper...I know that I have NO control over whether my babies have heart defects or end up with cancer..I simply have no idea what the future holds...At the end of the day knowing that God is a GOOD God and a LOVING God and a HEALING God gives me peace...but my humanly thoughts often get in the way and it's hard not to question why God allows the things he does...and why can't all babies make it to adulthood? And why can't all adults live long healthy lives...especially when they took the time to actually care for their health...I just pray God will continue to prepare my heart and my mind so that when things don't go my way I will be able to face the changes with His strength and love...There's no way I'd NOT have kids just bc of my worries for them...But sometimes, seein what i see and knowing what i know, it's hard not to worry and, at times, think of the worst case scenario...Gotta keep makin my strides and allowing God to build and fill me up... and when life takes a difficult turn i hope i can remember to let HIS will be done...WOW, this blog ended up kind of sad!!! Sad, but hopeful I guess...hope will always exist where God does! Ok...gotta spend this day wisely now that im actually awake for it! God is good...love is great...and omelets are a fabulous start to the day!!
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