My mother's day surprise..

So today before reese and i left for FPU (financial peace university) he told me to wear something nice bc he wanted to go out to dinner afterwards. At first, I was hesitant bc i had worked last night, got up early, and now was tired...but then i decided we hadnt been out in a long time and itd probabl be nice to have a date night so i put my hair up, put on my fave "snow leopard" (as we call it lol) dress and headed out the door to Crossroads.

**Side note: today's session was called "cash flow planning" and was about monthly budgets (including saving plans, spending plans, etc)...i am GEEKED about having our first "budget committee meeting"!!! For those of you who have been thru or are goin thru FPU u will appreciate this...i am DEF the "NERD" of the relationship so u already know how geeked making out budget plans and plannin IN GENERAL is for me and my fellow nerds! lol OK...back to the original program**

So reese and i walked out of crossroads and headed towards merchinski (the car)...he was driving bc he wanted to surprise me with where we were goin. As we start to get closer to our destination, I looked over at him and asked

"So what's the occassion for going out to dinner tonite?"

And in his loving tone he simply said..."Well...mother's day is this sunday and since we've been makin plans to do things with our moms that day and we'll probably be too busy tomorrow and saturday i wanted to make sure to take you out so we could celebrate YOUR mother's day..."

At this point, my body is melting and i can feel the tears building up...After a long pause i humbly thanked him.... "You have no idea how much that means to me"

And what he said next was my breaking point...i couldnt hold back the tears any longer..(now i didnt LOSE it yall...i didnt have the quivering lip and heavy sobs haha...but the tears found their ways down my cheeks)... the exact words i cannot quote...but his utmost respect and love for me, admiration for me following God's decision, and acknowledgment of my motherhood in its most essential sacrificial element rung loud and clear in his words...What i did was FOLLOW God's call and LOVE my daughter so I have never asked or looked for a pat on the back for what i did nor have i ever expected anyone truly understanding (or even TRYIN to understand) the depths of my love that is rooted in what is now a most beautiful story of love, sacrifice, and adoption. Regardless, there have been many friends and family who have supported me from day one and still do...and it's that very love and affirmation that touch my heart in a way nothing else can. It's like God speaking directly to me, reassuring me, encouraging me, and affirming his love for me. I am grateful that God gave me the strength to be the mother he created me to be..

Often times, around mother's day, I am briefly reminded of the pain that i once wore for clothing... only to be entirely overcome with awe of God's greatness, love, and strength provided to those who will simply receive it. God had a plan the whole time. I am so blessed to have been a part of it. And I'm so thankful for those who continue to love and support me in my motherhood... I never needed acknowedgment or affirmation bc I knew I had God's the whole time...a peace that truly surpassed all understanding...but moments like the one i had in the car with maurice i can feel God's presence more than ever..and even tho i dont need affirmation from maurice or anyone else but God alone, there is no denying the amazing gift of appreciation, respect, admiration, and love...especially for something i laid my heart out for...for moments like these God be praised.

So tonite's dinner turned into a surprise mother's day celebration...A reminder that even tho i acknowledge my motherhood i often forget to encourage myself and take pride in the road i have traveled...an affirmation of God's love and presence in my life. And a reminder of how BLESSED i am to have maurice to share my heart and life with...to be loved by, challenged by, encouraged by, and restored by.

With God's strength I took the road less traveled...thank you God for helpin me take that first step. And thank you all who have since then continued to take steps with me. In my mother's words..."my cup overfloweth"...