This is a song sung at a service at my church, Crossroads. It is a part of what is called our "free journey" that the entire church community is participating in right now...this song speaks to me in ways that i can not describe. Music, even without words, can move me into an entirely different frame of mind...take my spirit out of my body...and it helps me make sense of my emotions and helps me to share what im feeling internally with others in a way that i cannot do with simple words. Music is my avenue of emotional relief...a form of freedom...and an integral component to my sanity. I'm so thankful for having this outlet...this avenue...this method of connection...and im grateful for the musicians that have been given this gift that they give me..and im grateful that God has given me an outlet by putting this spirit of music in my heart...bringing it to my ears and into my mind...and bringing my spirit to life thru the music i make...
http://crossroads.net/downloads/playMedia/idMedia/1029
We all need freedom from something. There is SOMETHING or SOMETHINGS that we are in bondage to. Chains that we have allowed to burden us and that hinder us from becoming the potential of who God created us to be. I am all too aware of those things that keep me in bondage...my mind gets the best (or more appropriately said the WORST) of me...i become overwhelmed with a lack of patience...i often get short-tempered over little things that TRULY don't matter. I often hold myself to ridiculous expectations even when i KNOW these expectations are not of God and are NOT important to me gainging personal wealth. I sometimes expect others to be on the same page as me...to do unto me as i would do unto them...to automatically understand me at my core and even to be able to relate with me at that level...I am in bondage to expectations. To unnecessary standards. To my impatience and short-temper that pop far more frequently than they used to. To my belief that maurice and i should be on the same wave length at all times and if we aren't one of us is wrong. I'm in bondage to my thoughts. The thoughts that tell me i could've prevented something from happening...the thoughts that make me think i am in control of an outcome and therefore when the outcome isnt what i expected it to be i get frustrated even while at the SAME TIME knowing that God's plan is not MY plan (and that it's best that way). In bondage to maurice and my old baggage that randomly infiltrates our union when it all needs to be left in the past viewed as a stepping stone to get us to where we are NOW. In bondage to jealousy. Jealous of maurice's natural calm spirit and consistent patience. His ability to simply go with the flow and let be what is to be. In bondage to the resentment that i often have towards him for not having to experience the bondage to control/expectations/high standards/and negative thinkin that will occassionally flood my mind.
God wants me to be free from all of this. To be the person He created me to be. To be the person I am 98% of the time and to be free from those pop-up moments of being dragged down by chains..cuz even tho i dont have those moments too too often, when i DO have them they consume me entirely leaving me in a far from light place. A place that feels far and distant from God. And distances me from the man I love so much and who loves me more than i could ever have imagined.
Freedom from myself may take time...the road may hav some rough spots as i work thru letting parts of me die so that I can live in the freedom God wants for me...those rough spots will be all worth it tho..."when freedom comes it will be worth it..." God I pray for your freedom. For your peace and calm. For your joy. Release me from all that keeps me in bondage. Hear the cries of those still kept in chains, whatever those chains for that individual may be. May we all find the freedom you desire us to have. Amen....
"When the freedom comes...it will be worth it...
it will be worth it..when it comes to you
cuz you've got too much on your shoulders
Too much in your head
Too much in your heart...that's poisonous
Root deep, I see, things that keep you from seeing me
My will be done. In everyone.
Cuz you've got burdens on your shoulders.
LIES in your head. Pain in your heart.
That wants you dead.
Spirit, open their eyes. Open their minds. Open their hearts.
And help them know...truth from a lie..foe from a friend
**THAT I AM FOR THEM**
cuz i want FREEDOM on their shoulders
PEACE in their heads
LOVE in their hearts
Again..."
