What I've been having a hard time with tho is this "christmas spirit" aka gift giving. Now don't get me wrong i LOVE giving gifts to people, especially as a surprise or when i buy something just bc i KNOW they'd love it. But for whatever reason i have such a hard time with gift buying for christmas. It's like i get super pressured to go out and buy people stuff JUST because its christmas...like it's expected..a given. And i know that the gift giving is so much more than that but for some odd reason i just get more and more turned off by the whole gift aspect of christmas. I'm asked "what i want for christmas" ....ummmm whatever u think id like??? It's not about what i WANT. It's about what YOU want to give simply because you think it will bring joy. And that's what I want to do...and i know plenty of people dont have a hard time with all this and if i had this convo w them theyd be like "DUH...thats why i love buying gifts so much" but i dunno...i just feel so pressured and i dont necessarily feel all that excited to go buy gifts cuz i cant help this feeling that im buying people gifts cuz i have to...
I bet if i started christmas shopping earlier things would be different...id have plenty of time to browse around several stores and malls to get great ideas and find things that really scream out " YES! so-and-so WOULD LOVE THIS!!" instead of running around the MOBS of crazy people (let me emphasize CRAZY!) with the feeling that all i have to do is buy people on my list a gift just to have a gift to give. If i started earlier i could beat the crowds...have plenty of time for thoughtful, loving gifts that would bring me just as much joy as it would the person receiving it.. and maybe with more time i wouldnt feel so pressured. But today i just felt like Scrooge walking amongst everyone just hoping to buy SOMETHING for people...it's definitely NOT what the season is about...the season that i love so much...
I'm determined. Next year will be different. I'll start making a list of my gift giving ideas even before Thanksgiving and then designate days to go out just to browse to see what else i can find and what makes me smile enough to actually buy for my loved ones. Maybe ill go with friends or family who really got the joyful shopping stuff done to an art so it will be more of a fun time w friends event. Ya know...now that i think about it...i hate shopping in general...maybe thats why i get discouraged by christmas shopping...cuz not only is it shopping for mass people but its almost forced shopping and its with jam packed malls with people who run into u and dont even both to say excuse me. I hate malls to begin with...let alone when they are packed. So yes, i think i need to start all this christmas gift giving sooner...or maybe online shopping? And i also think i need to start thinking about how i want to maurice and i to have christmas as a family when kidos come along...cuz neither one of us want it to be about "making a list" and getting all that u want on it...but then i also want to bring that special joy that only kids TRULY receive to our little ones...i know there's a perfect balance...my parents did a pretty darn good job at it so im sure maurice and i will find it, too. Anyhoots...just kinda felt like scrooge and needed to get some of that off my chest briefly. I love giving and i love the Christmas season...but still gotta find that happy balance with gift buying...gotta find a way to make it just as joyful to me as it is to those who will receive it cuz if i get joy out of the gift i bought for someone then SURELY they will be that much more joyous cuz gifts that make the giver happy to give bc they just KNOW their loved one will LOVE it always end up being the greatest presents for the recipient...and thats how it should be.
