Now, where im goin w this is (at times i can be the queen of tangents..lol) that i think that somewhere along the road i began to keep everything in unless it was something i was strugglin w...i felt like its easier for people to listen to another's struggle than their joys bc no one wants to hear good news shoved down their throat ESPECIALLY when things arent all that great for them...i think i took this to the xtreme tho...its like i programmed myself in thinkin that people didnt WANT to hear the good things goin on in my life or in the lives of those i loved..i just kept the "jessi news" on the low-low so not to be that loathed individual who's always thinkin shes important enough to share everything w everyone...and THEN i got to lookin more into the things people post on facebook/myspace/blogs/etc...for those who always seemed to hav a new post up regarding time they r sharin w this person or the awesome weekend they just had i initially was thinkin "ummmm y r u sharin?...does it just make ya feel better?" n then i REALLY got to thinkin...n ive come to the conclusion that YES! YES, it feels better to share ur joys w others...even if its on a facebook status that people may or may not read nor care about...why? i have come to believe that there is power in OWNING your joys by CLAIMING them, n i truly believe that thoz individuals who do share themselves and their JOYS more than others do so not bc life is truly "perfect" and ALL smiles but bc, for the time being, things r lookin up and dag-gone-it they own that! AS THEY SHOULD...
after i finally came to the realization of the power in sharing oneself and claiming joys i actually found myself envious of those who had been doin it for so long...i was so bent on remaining so humble that i began to minimize ALL of the *BLESSINGS* that happen in my life EvErYdAy!! With the reality of the struggles that occur every second of everyday for so many.. poverty, hunger, addictions, poor spirits, and all the other daily stresses that r common to us all, its like i forgot to take the time to remember all the GOOD things that are happening...and not just say "yea theres good things happen but what about all of ...BLAH BLAH BLAH...that needs help n attention" but actually givin the good things in life the time they deserve. Ive always been a fun-lovin, high spirited individual especially when im celebrating the joys of others...but i havnt done enough claiming of my joys enough...and i figure why not start NOW!
SOOOOOOOOOOO......
...thats where this whole blog idea came to fruition..I decided i would write about my life...id claim my joys, share my frustrations/trials/tears, and get my thoughts out of my head (where they need not linger for too long for my own mental health sake..haha) by writing on a blog that is free for anyone to read if they so desire or entirely ignore if they so choose...i always am excited to hear about the joys of others n i borderline think ive been unfair in thinkin that the "small stuff", whether joyful, trying, or just simple unprovoking updates in my life dont matter enough to others so as not to share...so here i am! Here to share w those of u who choose to listen...and here for myself as well...just to keep myself in check that i am claiming my joys along w the rest of my journey...even if no one were to ever read this or any of my blogs i think ill find peace just in the journaling process...It'll be a good way to look back and reflect, too! And since ill *hopefully* be getting engaged/married soon followed by all those many fun milestones to come ill hav a lot to talk about n then later in life reflect upon...in nursing they tell us that "if it wasn't documented then it wasnt done!" and while that is obviously a little extremem in the non-nursing/health profession world i do think that the documentation will be good to look back and reflect upon...SO...here's to the beginning of Jessi's rendition of blogging hahaha!!
*Forewarning...i foresee that at times ill just be scattered
brained n just in journalin mode...if thats the case, i apologize
for any difficulty in following if u attempt to do so...my mind
can jump topics in a split second leavin it often difficult to
keep up sooooo i apologize in advance for any typos/"disorganized"
thinking (i put that in quotes cuz its somehow organized n
makes total sense to me..haha)/ etc etc
P.s. this was a LOOONG first blog..GEESH! ok..take care now...byebye then :)
