Can't believe it's November already! I felt like it was just yesterday I was having a persistent heart attack while studying for state boards! Now I've officially been an RN for 4 months! And it seems like Reesaferd just left to go back to school from summer break, and now he only has 45 more days til he is back **FOR GOOD**!! I'm uber excited but it hasn't fully set in yet. Basically for the past 2.5 years our relationship has been months of distance with periodic "home breaks" so I'm used to him comin home but then havin to go back...I can't wait for him to move all his stuff back and settle in at home where he belongs :) We have talked alot about our distance relationship and even though both of us would've LOVED to have been to reach out and touch each other at any given moment we see that, once again, God's way is the best way! While I do think that both of us are such good communicators that our communication would be good regardless, but we truly are SO THANKFUL for God pushing the *hold button* and creating the physical distance bw us bc we were literally forced to build a relationship on friendship, open communication, and trust. It gave us a chance to see how strong we are as a couple...while we KNOW life will provide us with plenty of other trials, we feel like these first few years hav been a trial in itself and we have done so well and hav only grown stronger in and with one another so its encouraging...I'm not gona lie tho, there were plenty of days where all i could do is play the poor old jessi show and envy those who had their loved ones w them at the drop of a dime ...and sometimes i got frustrated thinkin "God, we have a love rooted in you and a love that's genuine and true WHY must you keep us apart?" but im so thankful God knows better than me :) Me with all my issues...all my doubts that i used to hav in relationships ...w all my insecurities and in denial that i could hav a man who genuinely loves me for ALL that i am-the strong aspects of me and the parts of me that are weaker n a bit annoying even to me! lol ... But i truly believe that by seeing his persistent faithfulness and unstaggering focus on US and doing whatever he can for us and our growth even in our distance I have lost all doubt, all second guessing, all uncertainty. This man and what we have been so blessed to have and live don't go a day without moments of amazement...My growth individually and my growth in relationship have evolved beyond wat i ever couldve imagined...I see myself more and more becoming the person God designed me to be...and I'm lovin this person so much more than that crazy chic i was lettin myself become years ago...can I get an AMEN for deliverance! My naptown girls can testify to my growth i think the most hahaha. Anyhoots...ALL SMILES for the permanent return of my Mr. !! We've been talkin alot about plans for when he's back...especially where we are gonna live and where he's goin to work. We'd like to stay in Cincinnati for several reasons: (a) his family is here and we both hav good friends here (b) we LOVE our church, Crossroads, and are biased in the belief that no other church is better haha (c) i LOVE my job at children's and dont want to leave! and (d) i love our relationship with my relatives and being a part of my cousins' lives and i wouldn't be able to be as involved if we moved back to indy (e) i kind of sorta LOVE sittin on the serpentine wall on the river and walkin thru the park and throwin football on the greenspace there on the river...such a place of peace for me. For now, Maurice is just going to apply at places in both Cincinnati and Indy and wherever he lands a good job that he can see himself enjoyin we will most likely end up. While there a definite reasons as to why I and we would like to stay here in cincy i OBVIOUSLY wouldnt mind movin back to Indy!! Love my friends, love my family, plenty of hospitals including 2 children's hospitals, and i just love the city of Indy...it'd be kind of crazy tho cuz now Chels and her familio will b movin closer to Cincinnati so we'd kind of be flip floppin when in reality we were born to be neighbors hahahaha. Another thing ive grown to love about cincinnati is the opportunity for growth and change that NEEDS to happen in this city...there are so many areas that need a little extra love, concern, and helpin hands...but then again every city has it's fair share of the need for TLC. BUT as of now we gots NO IDEAR as to wat we'll be doin cuz maurice needs to graduate first and find him a j-o-b! haha...im sure we'll end up exactly where we're meant to be so i suppose i should just let that be!!
Sooooo it's 11:30 (2330 lol) and im something ridiculously tired but i GOT to stay up til at least 3 or 4 (preferably later tho) so that i can sleep all day tomorrow and be ready for 12 hours of work tomorrow night! My body and sleep schedule thrive on routine and working 3 nights of the week and then tryin to be "normal" on the off days so to spend time w family/friends doesnt really do anything for a body that thrives on routine...very unfortunate situation at times lol...I like workin night shift for several reasons, but the main drawback is days off bc they throw me off instead of rejuvenate me and it kinda sux that i miss daylight on the regular haha...i have found that sleep is HANDS DOWN more important tho! Good thing Krogers is 24 hours....gives me something to do at night when im awake and the rest of the world is konked...I'll be out of orientation beginning of January and then I'll start rotating 3wks days 3wks nights soooo well see how that goes! I really like workin dayshift cuz there are most post-ops, i like the people, and it gets really busy with events that dont really happen on night shift...but i like workin night shift cuz i like the people who works nights as well, the slowed down environment is a breath of fresh air, and i have more time to process everything esp my patient's diagnosis and all that is involved in their care/status....but regardless of whether it's day or night the kids are just as sick and in need of a close eye and constant care...i hope rotating works bc i like both day and night shift...i just dont know if my body will be able to do it. And if it can't, my only other option is working straight nights because there aren't any positions open for straight days. We shall cross that bridge when we get there tho! For now i just gotta keep focusin on gettin better and better and learning all that i can so i can be the best nurse i can be (enter a big cheesy smile and a tacky thumbs up) ! haha...i keep remindin myself "one day at a time jessi...one day at a time"...unfortunately i cant work 4 months and hav the same beastlyness and knowledge of the nurses who have been there for 5+ years..such a shame...haha...Love what i do tho...love my babies...and i keep takin steps back to make sure im lovin the journey...this has been Nurse Jessi...OUT. oh wait PS. GO COLTS!!! 7-0 baby!!! LOVE my colts!! GO BLUE!!! :)
