Humbug

I love Christmas...i love the music...i love the decorations...i love the family and friend get togethers...and i love the reason we celebrate. I love Christmas mass, I love singing happy birthday to Jesus (lol...my family really does...its uber corny but i love it oh so much), and i love the gratitude that overwhelms me thinking that God would send us Jesus for our sake...to bring us peace and salvation eternally. I love the strength of Mary...how she immediately accepted the great gift of bearing the Son of God...just simply had enough faith to let His will be done without question. I love it all....

What I've been having a hard time with tho is this "christmas spirit" aka gift giving. Now don't get me wrong i LOVE giving gifts to people, especially as a surprise or when i buy something just bc i KNOW they'd love it. But for whatever reason i have such a hard time with gift buying for christmas. It's like i get super pressured to go out and buy people stuff JUST because its christmas...like it's expected..a given. And i know that the gift giving is so much more than that but for some odd reason i just get more and more turned off by the whole gift aspect of christmas. I'm asked "what i want for christmas" ....ummmm whatever u think id like??? It's not about what i WANT. It's about what YOU want to give simply because you think it will bring joy. And that's what I want to do...and i know plenty of people dont have a hard time with all this and if i had this convo w them theyd be like "DUH...thats why i love buying gifts so much" but i dunno...i just feel so pressured and i dont necessarily feel all that excited to go buy gifts cuz i cant help this feeling that im buying people gifts cuz i have to...

I bet if i started christmas shopping earlier things would be different...id have plenty of time to browse around several stores and malls to get great ideas and find things that really scream out " YES! so-and-so WOULD LOVE THIS!!" instead of running around the MOBS of crazy people (let me emphasize CRAZY!) with the feeling that all i have to do is buy people on my list a gift just to have a gift to give. If i started earlier i could beat the crowds...have plenty of time for thoughtful, loving gifts that would bring me just as much joy as it would the person receiving it.. and maybe with more time i wouldnt feel so pressured. But today i just felt like Scrooge walking amongst everyone just hoping to buy SOMETHING for people...it's definitely NOT what the season is about...the season that i love so much...

I'm determined. Next year will be different. I'll start making a list of my gift giving ideas even before Thanksgiving and then designate days to go out just to browse to see what else i can find and what makes me smile enough to actually buy for my loved ones. Maybe ill go with friends or family who really got the joyful shopping stuff done to an art so it will be more of a fun time w friends event. Ya know...now that i think about it...i hate shopping in general...maybe thats why i get discouraged by christmas shopping...cuz not only is it shopping for mass people but its almost forced shopping and its with jam packed malls with people who run into u and dont even both to say excuse me. I hate malls to begin with...let alone when they are packed. So yes, i think i need to start all this christmas gift giving sooner...or maybe online shopping? And i also think i need to start thinking about how i want to maurice and i to have christmas as a family when kidos come along...cuz neither one of us want it to be about "making a list" and getting all that u want on it...but then i also want to bring that special joy that only kids TRULY receive to our little ones...i know there's a perfect balance...my parents did a pretty darn good job at it so im sure maurice and i will find it, too. Anyhoots...just kinda felt like scrooge and needed to get some of that off my chest briefly. I love giving and i love the Christmas season...but still gotta find that happy balance with gift buying...gotta find a way to make it just as joyful to me as it is to those who will receive it cuz if i get joy out of the gift i bought for someone then SURELY they will be that much more joyous cuz gifts that make the giver happy to give bc they just KNOW their loved one will LOVE it always end up being the greatest presents for the recipient...and thats how it should be.

Team WOD

So Saturdays are team WODs and it was my first team WOD today and i LOVED IT! first of all...workin out with the people at CF Indynorth is just awesome cuz there are so many fun and encouraging people...that always makes psycho workouts more manageable. Teams were made with the attempt to have 2 experienced cross-fitters and 2 not so experienced CFers...so needless to say i was one of the not so experienced CFers, and I was paired with 2 SUPER beastly CFers and then one other guy who started around when i did. The workout was intense. I really thought I held my own (for my "experience" or lack thereof) but i still felt bad cuz i couldnt go as fast as the other woman on my team so she ended up doing more reps to help keep us in the running (the guys on our team did the same thing)...we were last (3/3) the entire time UNTIL the part of the WOD were we had to do 250 double unders and THIS is where i could really contribute! I was BEASTIN the double unders and helped bring us in to 2nd place!!! I realize im really new at this so i try not to make unnecessary expectations out of myself, but i just wish i could be as strong as alot of these CFers NOW lol. Obviously i realize that all takes time, but that doesnt take away my desire to be at that status at this point in time lol. I'm being rather impatient....but the fact that i was able to REALLY contribute today with the double unders felt awesome, im not gona lie. And it made me realize that i gotta take everything in stride...go really hard in the areas im strong in and just keep working on my strength and endurance to get stronger in my weak areas (and i have many weak areas lol...my poor little weakling self). Anyhoots...really loved working out as a team today...loved the encouragement...loved pushing myself harder and harder...loved taking a nap AFTER that crazy intense workout, and loved seeing my hard work contribute to our team coming in 2nd place!!! Definitely positive reinforcement...and definitely cant wait to continue to see my progression!!

That's right ..I got bold

I woke up this morning unsure of what 10am would bring ...i had a hair appointment...FINALLY...ive been wanting to change my hair for SO LONG...as in since like high school lol..i just never got bold enough to cut my hair off...i just kept going longer and longer. Which was great for the wedding cuz my hair is super beasty (compliments of Mrs Abby Robertson= beast-a-tron), but after the wedding i just HAD to do something different...even if it was 2 inches off...just something! But I actually got bold enough go for the short hair look...been talking about it forever...finally followed thru! I started off this morning like the first few pics...and ended...with hair above the shoulders! That's right madame mim...got bold enough to chop it off! I'm not gonna lie...i wanted to cry at first...it becomes an emotional attachment...hair becomes a part of who we are almost. I know the song goes " i am not my hair" but DANG it sure does become an attachment...but once i looked in the mirror it confirmed my hair was gone...there was nothing i could do about it ...but embrace it. And i finally realized it really wasn't that deep...so today i did more than cut my hair off...i got passed a fear and let go of some chains! ALLELUIAH!!! YES YES!!!!! LIBERATION!!! As the day has gone by i like it more and more...the husband LOVED it from first site which helped the transition from long to short...but i still had some getting used to and its def got better! Who knows maybe next time i go in for a hair appt ill go a little shorter!! orignally wat i wanted was it to be longer in front and then have a steeper angle for the "bob" so maybe ill go for that next time...who knows?!?! since im passed my hair alteration fear i feel like i can do anything! except shave it lol. DUH. I'm glad i went thru with it tho...its really grown on me...and im glad i went thru with it and broke the chains i made with this head of hair of mine...i feel liberated ..."I am not my hair" :)

A Day to Give Thanks :)

Ahhhh yes....thanksgiving :)  A day to sit back and reflect on all we have to be thankful for...well, really i feel like we all should do that everyday...but today is a whole day designated for it! I have SO much to be thankful...i feel so blessed for all the wonderful people in my life, my journey thus far, the brightness of my future, my health, my happiness, my financial peace, for music and my ability to share myself with it...For a job that's not only a place to get paid but it's rewarding knowing that I'm being used to help these babies grow and get healthy enough to go home and to help the parents in the journey from hospital to home. Thankful for my relationship with God...thankful for His mercy and grace, His support and love..for His faithfulness...for protecting and keeping my loved ones..for everything all the life lessons that have helped me grow to be who I am today.

So very much to thankful for ...glory be to God for His goodness ....

SMOKED!

So went to Crossfit at 1pm today and we did our warm up, back squats, and then our WOD. I only back squated 115# cuz I've never really lifted for real before and was too nervous to keep trying ..but Im still proud of the 115# and am lookin forward to improving. One women squated 235# !! Crazy right? Most women were doing around 135# tho ...I got some work to do! Then we did our WOD which was 8 rounds of 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off of : burpees, 20" box jumps, and squats . It was insane! I did a total of 64 burpees , 33 box jumps (thought id do better w those being a former vball player and high jumper! Guess not lol ), and then I did 84 air squats (this one lady did 182 !) ... I actually did the best in burpees but I got SMOKED in everything else! It's inspiring to see these people do so well tho! I'm tryna get like them! Lol. Crossfit indy north is actually hosting a competition in January and I can't wait to watch and cheer and hope to get that good someday! We shall see tho ...oh yea! And I did 12 double unders today! Double unders are when u r jumping rope the rope goes under twice for every one jump..the other day my record was 4 so I def surprised myself w that!

So now its work for the next 3 days so no Crossfit :( excited for thanksgiving w the fam! Sean, nicole and Keaton will b there AND the in-laws including sister for life (aka sister-in-law lol) ...only sad thing is I will b one brother short :( he will be there in spirit tho ...not too much longer til he's back home! Regardless of the situation there is so much to b thankful for...family being one at the top of the list! Love my fam-o ...

Crossfit on Friday (after 3 days off AND eating thanksgiving dinner) is gona b a doozy ! But I'm ready for the challenge! And gota stay focused so I don't keep gettin smoked!  Hahaha ...all in due time!

P.S.

*I wanna be a burlesque dancer ...but only if i can sing at the same time lol. I cant wait for the movie Burlesque to come out... and i should've been told about the auditions for the movie cuz better believe i wouldve been there lol

*I'm finally doing SOMETHING to my hair..have an appt this friday...not entirely sure how bold im gona be feeling so we'll see wat actually gets done (lord knows i talk alot about cutting my hair off and it NEVER happens lol)..even if i just take an inch or 2 off and add some more layers tho itll be enough to atleast give me a change. Not doin any color this time but might actually join the hair coloring world soon if my hair stylist envisions something amazing and i actually will fork over the greenery for it lol

*i love my *husband*

*we will be entirely debt free by the end of this month--> AMAZING feeling! Big plans ahead :)

*Had ALOT of fun at abi and mike's wedding yesterday...I feel very blessed to have been their cantor for the ceremony...singing in that beautiful church with the AMAZING acoustics was such a joy and so happy i could contribute to their wedding celebration...and it was so awesome thinking back on our wedding mass which was only 3 weeks ago when we exchanged our vows for forever...such an amazing day and start to this new chapter :)

*i look forward to delighting in gravy this thursday...i have alot to thankful for...one of those things being gravy...even tho i cant eat it as often as id like.

Striving to be a BEAST...

So my husbando and my's newest addition to our life is a little something called Crossfit. Crossfit is a RATHER extreme form of working out..it's an intense strength and conditioning program that kicks ya booty into ridiculous shape. I truly believe that if ur dedicated to crossfit u have NO CHOICE but to become a machine lol...there are actually competitions for crossfit athletes...im tellin ya its a big deal! I originally wasnt interested AT ALL in competing (except for against myself) but ive watched some of the videos of the womens rounds at last years crossfit games and i got SO HYPE watching those girls kick butt! they must be so proud of themselves for being able to accomplish such an amazing level of fitness...at first i was nervous to do crossfit cuz i saw some youtube videos of these crossfit girls that were DIESEL...like manly diesel...and i became fearful that i would bulk up and look like a man...reese has always told me thats not possible because of my body composition but it scared me anyway...but the girls i watched in the video at last year's games still looked feminine but were DEFINITELY fit and killin it...so now im excited and hope to one day have enough strength and endurance to be able to compete and actually hang with some of these women.

Reese has LOVED crossfit from the first day of on-ramp (the "beginner's" course to crossfit..its kind of like an introduction to all the basic exercises)...his wife, who is such an amazingly smart woman who knows her husband VERY well, knew he would love it because its so intense, athletic, and competitive. When he walked in and saw the wall of the WODs (workout of the day) w people's best times i could see his eyes light up and im sure what he was envisioning was his name on as many WOD records as possible lol. Such a competitor. I could've cared less when i looked at all that. I really just wanna compete against myself and keep pushing myself to get better and better...stronger and stronger...and if i get to the level where i could hang in a competition then SURE, id love to...like i said earlier i got REAL hype watchin the women's videos from last year's games. But for now, i just love it for the intensity, the structure (ur form has to be IN CHECK bc of the intensity of the workouts), and the sense of community and comaraderie that fills the warehouse. It's awesome. We both got so excited that we bought crossfit hoodies for our gym, Indy North. The coaches are fun, encouraging, inspiring, and awesome...and i love meeting new fellow crossfitters. We eventually have to have "the talk" with Bryn (the owner and one of the coaches)...by "the talk" im talking about nutrition...which i think will be AWESOME but also difficult cuz we both will have some big changes to make im sure. I eat pretty healthy to begin with but man i love me some ice cream and occasional baked goods! its why i NEVER buy or make them myself cuz i lose control and discipline...but whenever i turn around it always seems like there's a cupcake or tub of ice cream starring at me in the face. They follow me EVERYWHERE! Stalkers....

Today was our first WOD bc we just got done with on-ramp...we did a workout called "hellen" which was 3 rounds for time of a 400 meter run, 21 kettlebell swings (the prescribed weight i used was 26# cuz i gotta start small w my weak self lol), and then 12 pull ups. I SUCK at running so that obviously killed me...but i felt really great on the pull ups and kettlebell swings! I was told to use a band for my pull ups bc Bryn knew id prolly tire out doin 3 rounds of 12 w the kettlebell swings and all and BOY am i glad i did cuz my arms were startin to feel like jello..but i am really proud of myself cuz im actually able to do pull ups SOLO which i was never able to do before! its so encouraging to already feel like im making advancements...its all very addicting! which ive heard other people say that have been doing crossfit but didnt know how addicting it really is! wat sucks is i cant workout as often as id like since on the days that i work i cant workout AT ALL thanks to my awesome 12.5 hour shifts...i feel like if i ever really wanna train to compete im gona have to work in a clinic/office or something so i can workout more often. If that day ever comes im sure ill figure something out...until then im just gona keep on keepin on!

If you're interested in learning more about crossfit check our www.crossfit.com, youtube it, or google a crossfit in your city and check it out in person!