WAHOO FOR WORKING 3 12's AND THEN HAVING 4 DAYS OFF WITHOUT PTO!! I am so geeked for my 4 days off, too. Just found out last night reesaferd found a ride home for the weekend so we'll be able to...r u ready for this...we'll be able to go on our hunt for the perfect CHRISTMAS TREE!!!! OMG im so excited i cant contain myself...lol...ive never had my OWN christmas tree and reese and this will also be the first time reese n i go christmas tree shopping and decorating together!!! I plan on crankin the christmas tunes, maybe pop a bottle of champagne (or hot cocoa...same difference...lol) and go at it with the decoratin!
I also am gonna start with a new project. I am MAKING...yes making...reese and my stockings this year...I found this kit at a fabric store and it looks complex but the ladies behind the counter said I could do it so hopefully they are right! If not...violence will be the answer (my mommy n daddy taught me RIGHT! lol)
Other things on the TO DO list for the stretch off: Singers (the group i sang in at xavier) show, Jack's gymnastic meet (hes 6 and the cutest little gymnast u hav ever seen...hes my little man..ive babysat/been apart of their family since Jack was 6 mo and Jess was 5 i believe), sleep in, finish decorating the house, and go christmas shopping! I can't really afford to go all out w christmas gifts n buy something for everyone id like to but ima do wat i can! Life is expensive in case yall didnt know...n i dont even got kids to support yet!! yikers...maybe reese was right about just havin 2-3 kids instead of 4..we'd prolly go broke with 4...n kids n all the hubs and i WILL be takin sweet lovin romantic getaways for the 2 of us even with kids! we r gona make sure it happens!
Ok...time to start the day off by gettin BUFF!! ima monster...but dont be intimidated...i only unleash fury with ice cream is involved...or when i need to vent but reesaferd is the only one that gets that fury. It's included in the job description. God bless his soul. lol.
God is good. God is great. Reesaferd is my giant ape!! LOVE to all :)
Friday, December 4, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
"The Seriousness of Graeter's Ice Cream" brought to you by Picture This Productions...
Curtain opens. Jessi, being the amazing girlfriend that she is, is at Graeters buying a pint of cookies n cream for her lovely significant other reesaferd, and a pint of choc chip cookie dough for herself. After forking over the greenery and bagging up her goodies she skipped merrily out of the world's greatest ice creamery and hopped into her car, Dolores Merchinski. "Oh I can't WAIT for reesaferd and I to delight in the deliciousness of our individual desserts!" she cheerfully said to herself in a high-pitched and jolly tone. Curtain closes.
Curtain opens. Jessi has just made her joyful entrance into the apartment where her lovely reesaferd awaited for her on the couch doing his usual weekend football routine (watching 2 different games on 2 different flat screens).
"Look what I got us!" Jessi proclaimed as she showed off the pints of ice cream. "You said you wanted cookies n cream so I got you your own pint babe!"
"Wow babe...you're the best!"
(DUH! Jessi thought). Jessi smiles keeping her thoughts to herself, and then places the two pints of sweet lovin in the freezer for later indulgence. Suddenly, some of Jessi's most dearest friends in the whole world arrived at the apartment. It was time to begin to journey to their squeaky friend Cynae's baby shower! Oh how exciting and delightful! Jessi and the lovely ladies of the 317 hopped into the car and began their fun-filled journey. Curtain closes.
Curtain opens. The ladies are in Dolores Merchinski on the drive back from the babylicious baby shower. The ladies are talking about people making messes and not cleanin up after themselves and the irritation this brings. Jessi's cellular device is resounding. Tis Reesaferd calling!
"Well hey there darlin!" Jessi said with a smile
"Hey babe...just so you know..Nicole and I got into a water fight so there might still be water around the apt. Also, I left 1.5 hrs ago to drive back to school but I left my pint of ice cream out so it's probably melted. "
Jessi and Reesaferd continued their conversation for a bit longer and then they parted ways. Jessi couldn't believe what a coincidence it was that she was just venting about the frustration of people leaving messes and not cleaning up after themselves, and then that conversation bw her and the love of her life happened. How silly. Furthermore, Jessi was very happy that atleast reesaferd didn't make a BIG boo boo and eat her ice cream and then leave it out half eaten to waste away.
When Jessi got home she immediately began rescue measures to try and revive the cookies n cream. It wasn't entirely puddled so she performed CPR for approx 4 minutes and then placed the pint back into the freezer for her man to enjoy later. Curtain closes.
Curtain opens. Time has passed now. Jessi has been loving her occassional forbidden rendevous with her cookie dough ice cream. She enjoyed having a few bites at a time so to savor the succulence of the sweet, sweet ice cream. But one day...things changed for the worst. Jessi had just gotten home from a long 12 hr day at the hospital saving lives and changing the outcome, and all she wanted was to delight in a few bites of her forbidden love...the cookie dough ice cream. Jessi would have to deliver Reesaferd to Lexington, KY that same night after a long day of saving lives so he could get back to school and all she needed was a few bites of her ice cream. As she took the cute little pint out of the freezer, Reesaferd, looking innocent as can be, nonchalantly says, "I mixed my left over cookies n cream into what was left of your cookie dough...it tastes pretty good."
"YOU DID WHAT?!?!"
Thunder began to crash and lightning split the sky!
"You mixed YOUR pint of ice cream that YOU left
out to perish into MY perfectly fine and delicious
choc chip cookie dough?!?!?!"
"I don't understand?!?!" Jessi thought as she thrashed through the apt enraged. "What makes you think you can a) mix YOUR sloppy seconds refrozen ice cream into my still fresh tasting pint and b) EAT MY ICE CREAM, PERIOD?!?!?!" Jessi was furious as Reesaferd KNEW what the business was when it came to Jessi and her ice cream.
Reesaferd then fell to his knees and pleaded for forgiveness as he wept at Queen Jessi's beautiful feet. As Jessi gazed down into her lover's eyes she couldn't help but take him back...even after he committed one of the deadliest sins known to mankind. Jessi then helped Reesaferd to his feet. For visualization, this looked like Jessi telling Reesaferd to get his big gorilla self up (Jessi is too fragile, dainty, and beautiful to assist in activities that could potentially cause physical pain). The love birds then embraced. But Jessi will never forget that sunny turned stormy evening when her ice cream was eaten and tainted by the impurities of another.
Let this be a lesson for all. If you have your own ice cream pint and you let it perish in the heat, for then your significant other to revive it so you would still have some to nibble on...DONT...i repeat DONT mix your impure ice cream with her/his innocent ice cream...furthermore, if you are ever at the jessi/reesaferd/nicole/abitha residence and there's ice cream in the freezer, ask who's it is...and if it's jessi's....just shut the fridge and walk away.
THE END
Documentation of the seriousness of ice cream to Jessi found below:
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Nae's Baybay Shower!!!
Sunday was DEF Funday! Ranck, pickle, bruc-e and i all made a trip down to lexington for nae's baby shower! I'd like to add the ranck, pickle, and bruc-e also made an extra trip to WHO KNOWS WHERE when they got lost on their way to my apt...how sad...lol. I'm so happy that we all got to share that special day with Cynae...i think all us did...reminds us of the good ol clownin days in high school...we have so many RIDICULOUS memories and good times and its so good to know we're still all friends! Also, id like to add that cynae's ridiculosity STILL prevails..the high squeaky voice LIVES ON and STRONG...she STILL cant sing..lol..and im so glad to see her so happy :) Some pics to document that the baby shower occurred (IM NOT LYING! SHES HAVIN A BABY!) found below:
*CONGRATS TO CYNAE AND JOSH!*
and congrats to me...for being awesome...Amen.
It's My Mommy's Birthday!!!
My mother dearest is the greatest in the whole wide world!!! I'm so thankful for her..her portrayal of strength and courage, her wisdom, her faithfulness to Christ, and her amazing mothering skills (i mean..she's a beast..she raised ME! lol jk jk jk). Anyhoots...HAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYY BIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRTTTTTHHHHHHDDDDDAAAAYYYYYYYYY to the lovely mother of mine :)
Weddings, The encounter w Turkey*, and healin the past
Friday: I volunteered at Crossroads (our home church) with the wedding team. It was so much fun! We basically made sure everything went smoothly for the bride and groom on their super special day. I really wanted to get involved more in our church community so when I heard they needed help on the wedding team I was like HECK YES! Sounds fun, maybe stressful at times if your dealin w/ a bridezille, and i can get pointers for our wedding (whenever that may be..lol)! I really wanted to volunteer w/ the kidos in kids club but they need people to be there consistently every weekend and i can't do that thanks to hospitals bein open on the weekends..lol. So when I emailed Susan (she leads the wedding team) and told her about my schedule and need for flexibility she said id fit right in! After I was done helpin out around the Crossroads community I headed out to pick up Reesaferd!! He got a ride home last minute and then went out w a long time friend for a bit while I was at crossroads so i went and picked him up and brought him home where that boy belongs! He had been tellin me about this song he heard in his dance class...sayin the first time he heard it he stopped dancing, went up to the teacher and said WHAT IS THIS CALLED? MY WIFE AND I NEED TO DANCE TO THIS AT OUR WEDDING! lol. It truly is perfect..in every single way..and I never would've found that on my own..soooo essentially we haven't got engaged ("officially) and haven't started plannin a wedding but we think we're dead set on our first dance song! lol. I'm not spillin the beans tho...peoples gotta wait til the weddin to hear it!! That's right...wait in anticipation! haha
Saturday: My gurl Jess (my other 1/2 of j-squared) came over cuz she was in town. Note to self: I love that gurl! We can talk for ever (well...we both could prolly talk to ourselves forever so put us together and its a dag-gone mess lol)..I got the 411 on her recent updates n i gave her my scoop as well. I love our convos so much cuz we hav similar thought patterns, beliefs, outlooks on life etc so its sometimes like I'll be talkin about a topic and questioning this and that about it but then she'll chime in and say something and im just baffled at how things she says is wat ive been needin to hear or think about. I am, no doubt, very blessed to have such an amazing woman as a close friend. She's my gurl for real for real.
Then Saturday night Reese and I went to church. He was at a football game w his boys and i was at the apt w/ jess so we just met up at church. But there was DEF a twist to our meeting. I spot him immediately as I walk into the atrium (a very LARGE big open space where free coffee/drinks are served at crossroads). I mean, he's hard to miss...and my eyes r set in radar mode for him..lol. As I start to get closer, peanut butter sandwich in my hand (I knew he'd be hungry and need it) I see a girl next time- which is no big deal...I'm not a "ur not allowed to talk to other gurls" kind of girlfriend. He didn't see me until I was right up next to him since his back was faced where I entered the building, and I just look at up at him and smile and hand him his sandwich. Then, I ask "and who is this?" (in a kind and plain voice...i just love meetin new people especially people a part of reese's life) and he says kind of under his breath her name. I smiled and said hi to her with a gentle nod of my head acknowledging that "I come in peace" haha. She then went her way and reese took my hand and we went ours. Now...when he initially said her name i didnt hear it clear enough since he played the mumble game so i asked him again when we walked away..."What was her name again?" "Turkey*" he says (i dont wanna use her real name cuz thats unnecessary so ill call her turkey). My heart starts to flutter in an unusual manner. "Turkey* WHO?" (knowin dag-gone well what Turkey* he was talkin about). He then said her last name and I just stood there as he was gettin his drink re-filled with a look on my face that said more than 1000 words. I knew exactly who she was via stories I had been told, and I had never been too fond of her n lacked some respect for her bc of these stories...I was able to keep her out of my mind tho bc she was from years ago (except for when she kept tryin to talk to reese when she knew dag-gone well wat the business was...POOR decision on any female's part...wat happened to respect ya know?). Well, apparently i have more disdain for the girl than i thought bc my stomach twisted in knots and all i could think of were the things i knew about her (aka only negative things for real) and how i couldnt believe she had the audacity to get his attention n talk to him. Granted...she had every right to and she might have been completely innocent in wanting to just say hi and have casual chit chat, but i wasnt thinkin of anything other than EEW and THE AUDACITY..haha. I'm sure she's a nice girl, I really do...I think she made some poor decisions but dont we all. I just felt like I had a knife thrust into my stomach and then twisted around. It's almost like it doesn't matter whether you rationally know its been years etc etc ...when it's someone you love...someone you cant picture yourself without and someone you know never belonged with and never should belong with anyone else, it just makes you wanna physically vomit when you think of someone else from their past...regardless of the degree to wat was shared...it's just nauseating and makes u wish u had one of those men in black red flashy erase all memory thoughts hahaha. And for real, this was my first time ever bein face to face w one of his girls from the past (luckily he doesnt have many...). Ive met a few innocent and barely anything of significance infatuations, but that was it. And this whole time i been sayin how id prolly be fine w meetin old gurls n wat not, but truth is its hard...and apparently my pride is stronger than i thought. The feelin of "this hefa needs to know the business and RESPECT IT" tries to pop up..ok...i lied...it DOES pop up...and YES i feel childish in even ever thinkin that but i gotta be real cuz saturday proved to me that it does. And I been prayin like crazy ever since hahaha. First of all, I know for a FACT that maurice loves no one but me and the thought of other gurls nauseates him just like the thought of other guys makes me wanna vomit (EEW)...and i dont know whether it's a female thing or just a jessi thing but regardless of how faithful, loyal, loving, adoring, honest, etc reese is i couldnt stop focusing on wat, at one point was. I could see the pain in reese's eyes when id look at him cuz he knew exactly the thoughts that were permeating my mind and it pained me too bc i dont WANT to think those things...i dont WANT the past to hurt...just like i dont want MY past to hurt him and yet i know at times it does...Man, and that's a whole different ball game...here i am all types of flustered and almost feelin haunted and this is only one gurl i met. Maurice has met 3 guys from my past (rangin from little infatuation to more) and while i hav always appreciated him for bein so kind upfront i know that his heart hurts, too. And to top it all off, I'm still EXTREMELY close to one of their families, im still rather good friends with another, AND i have a child from a past relationship. If the tables were turned and i had to deal with wat he does id prolly go crazy...id have to fight like crazy against all those thoughts from the evil one that try n make u lose focus on the GREAT thing God has given u...Now my stomach is twisting thinkin about all that must haunt him. We've talked about this issue before...actually on several occassions...because it's such a hard pill to swallow. In the beginning we were both like "oh watever ur past is ur past" and then, as we continued to grow closer and closer, the past was NOT just the past...it hurt. It's not like we we're angry at each other for our pasts and we both realize that without our pasts we wouldnt be all that we are today (every person and situation helps mold)...but sometimes i just wish there was never any female before me...and there was no other male before him. It'd make things so much easier! GEEZ! For the most part, we're good...thru prayer and talkin about stuff we hav healed alot of pains that were bound to hurt when we began to grow together as close as we did and continue to do...apparently i still have some healing that needs to take place tho. Do me a favor and pray for me, yeah? Much appreciated :) And pray for reese, too...that those things that occassionaly may haunt him be healed so that we can let go of the hurt associated w eachothers' past and focus on the gift we have now. Oh and if u hav one of the men in black memory erasers that can selectively erase certain things dont be stingy...hit me up! lol
For any of yas who havent found "THE one" yet...please be careful and be HESITANT before u give urself (physically, mentally, spiritually) to another..it may seem meaningless and trivial now..but our bodies are temples...and a few years ago i woulda said "yea yea yea i know" and then wouldnt hav taken that to heart but TRULY..i cant emphasize it enough..YOU in entirety are God's temple..and God DOES have someone for you to love and be your best friend thru thick and thin for the rest of ur life...just be patient...dont waste ur time on those "relationships" u know arent "IT"...and remember that one day u will have that love/relationship that God intended us to have and share...and you will be bringin ALLLLLLLLLLLLL of you to the table...so think carefully of ur actions/decisions bc they WILL come to light...and as trivial as they may seem to u now...they have the potential to haunt the person you love so much...the person ud lay down ur life for...and there'll be NOTHING u can personally do to keep those past decisions from haunting and bringin pain to ur loved one's heart and mind...do YOUR temple and your future REAL DEAL a favor and make wise decisions now in hopes that your love wont be haunted by the past. Yes, it can be worked thru n make u stronger...but take it from me...i wish it was never a battlefield created...
Hopefully, if i ever run into Turkey* or some other past girl again i handle my thoughts better and i am stronger...realizing that NOTHING..nothing from the past..present...or future..is stronger than wat maurice and i share...thus, no need stressin or havin negative thoughts...leave the past where it belongs (healed and IN THE STINKIN PAST trailin in my farts! did i go too far? i apologize lol). Apparently, im still a work in progress (GEEZ God cant u just make me perfect?!?! haha), but im tryin...and full healing will come in time...I'm so thankful for the love I have been blessed with...and I wish I could've come to him n been able to say "I've saved my entire being for you" and i wish he could've said the same...I wish we woulda met at like..15 and then had been together ever since hahaha...then there'd be no other infiltrating past figures! lol. How ideal right? Anyhoots! No where to go but FORWARD! As we have been doin for the majority...just occassionally people like TURKEY come along n make work a little harder to keep goin forward..but gosh darn it VICTORIOUS WE WILL RISE! ok...im gettin to be too much again...love yourself..love others..love God...and make ur relationship decisions so that, when that day comes, u dont have to hav u or ur beloved find themselves in an encounter with TURKEY*! (i know, i know..prophetic right?lol ) I hope u get the message...and i hope it marinades like a well seasoned steak.
Saturday: My gurl Jess (my other 1/2 of j-squared) came over cuz she was in town. Note to self: I love that gurl! We can talk for ever (well...we both could prolly talk to ourselves forever so put us together and its a dag-gone mess lol)..I got the 411 on her recent updates n i gave her my scoop as well. I love our convos so much cuz we hav similar thought patterns, beliefs, outlooks on life etc so its sometimes like I'll be talkin about a topic and questioning this and that about it but then she'll chime in and say something and im just baffled at how things she says is wat ive been needin to hear or think about. I am, no doubt, very blessed to have such an amazing woman as a close friend. She's my gurl for real for real.
Then Saturday night Reese and I went to church. He was at a football game w his boys and i was at the apt w/ jess so we just met up at church. But there was DEF a twist to our meeting. I spot him immediately as I walk into the atrium (a very LARGE big open space where free coffee/drinks are served at crossroads). I mean, he's hard to miss...and my eyes r set in radar mode for him..lol. As I start to get closer, peanut butter sandwich in my hand (I knew he'd be hungry and need it) I see a girl next time- which is no big deal...I'm not a "ur not allowed to talk to other gurls" kind of girlfriend. He didn't see me until I was right up next to him since his back was faced where I entered the building, and I just look at up at him and smile and hand him his sandwich. Then, I ask "and who is this?" (in a kind and plain voice...i just love meetin new people especially people a part of reese's life) and he says kind of under his breath her name. I smiled and said hi to her with a gentle nod of my head acknowledging that "I come in peace" haha. She then went her way and reese took my hand and we went ours. Now...when he initially said her name i didnt hear it clear enough since he played the mumble game so i asked him again when we walked away..."What was her name again?" "Turkey*" he says (i dont wanna use her real name cuz thats unnecessary so ill call her turkey). My heart starts to flutter in an unusual manner. "Turkey* WHO?" (knowin dag-gone well what Turkey* he was talkin about). He then said her last name and I just stood there as he was gettin his drink re-filled with a look on my face that said more than 1000 words. I knew exactly who she was via stories I had been told, and I had never been too fond of her n lacked some respect for her bc of these stories...I was able to keep her out of my mind tho bc she was from years ago (except for when she kept tryin to talk to reese when she knew dag-gone well wat the business was...POOR decision on any female's part...wat happened to respect ya know?). Well, apparently i have more disdain for the girl than i thought bc my stomach twisted in knots and all i could think of were the things i knew about her (aka only negative things for real) and how i couldnt believe she had the audacity to get his attention n talk to him. Granted...she had every right to and she might have been completely innocent in wanting to just say hi and have casual chit chat, but i wasnt thinkin of anything other than EEW and THE AUDACITY..haha. I'm sure she's a nice girl, I really do...I think she made some poor decisions but dont we all. I just felt like I had a knife thrust into my stomach and then twisted around. It's almost like it doesn't matter whether you rationally know its been years etc etc ...when it's someone you love...someone you cant picture yourself without and someone you know never belonged with and never should belong with anyone else, it just makes you wanna physically vomit when you think of someone else from their past...regardless of the degree to wat was shared...it's just nauseating and makes u wish u had one of those men in black red flashy erase all memory thoughts hahaha. And for real, this was my first time ever bein face to face w one of his girls from the past (luckily he doesnt have many...). Ive met a few innocent and barely anything of significance infatuations, but that was it. And this whole time i been sayin how id prolly be fine w meetin old gurls n wat not, but truth is its hard...and apparently my pride is stronger than i thought. The feelin of "this hefa needs to know the business and RESPECT IT" tries to pop up..ok...i lied...it DOES pop up...and YES i feel childish in even ever thinkin that but i gotta be real cuz saturday proved to me that it does. And I been prayin like crazy ever since hahaha. First of all, I know for a FACT that maurice loves no one but me and the thought of other gurls nauseates him just like the thought of other guys makes me wanna vomit (EEW)...and i dont know whether it's a female thing or just a jessi thing but regardless of how faithful, loyal, loving, adoring, honest, etc reese is i couldnt stop focusing on wat, at one point was. I could see the pain in reese's eyes when id look at him cuz he knew exactly the thoughts that were permeating my mind and it pained me too bc i dont WANT to think those things...i dont WANT the past to hurt...just like i dont want MY past to hurt him and yet i know at times it does...Man, and that's a whole different ball game...here i am all types of flustered and almost feelin haunted and this is only one gurl i met. Maurice has met 3 guys from my past (rangin from little infatuation to more) and while i hav always appreciated him for bein so kind upfront i know that his heart hurts, too. And to top it all off, I'm still EXTREMELY close to one of their families, im still rather good friends with another, AND i have a child from a past relationship. If the tables were turned and i had to deal with wat he does id prolly go crazy...id have to fight like crazy against all those thoughts from the evil one that try n make u lose focus on the GREAT thing God has given u...Now my stomach is twisting thinkin about all that must haunt him. We've talked about this issue before...actually on several occassions...because it's such a hard pill to swallow. In the beginning we were both like "oh watever ur past is ur past" and then, as we continued to grow closer and closer, the past was NOT just the past...it hurt. It's not like we we're angry at each other for our pasts and we both realize that without our pasts we wouldnt be all that we are today (every person and situation helps mold)...but sometimes i just wish there was never any female before me...and there was no other male before him. It'd make things so much easier! GEEZ! For the most part, we're good...thru prayer and talkin about stuff we hav healed alot of pains that were bound to hurt when we began to grow together as close as we did and continue to do...apparently i still have some healing that needs to take place tho. Do me a favor and pray for me, yeah? Much appreciated :) And pray for reese, too...that those things that occassionaly may haunt him be healed so that we can let go of the hurt associated w eachothers' past and focus on the gift we have now. Oh and if u hav one of the men in black memory erasers that can selectively erase certain things dont be stingy...hit me up! lol
For any of yas who havent found "THE one" yet...please be careful and be HESITANT before u give urself (physically, mentally, spiritually) to another..it may seem meaningless and trivial now..but our bodies are temples...and a few years ago i woulda said "yea yea yea i know" and then wouldnt hav taken that to heart but TRULY..i cant emphasize it enough..YOU in entirety are God's temple..and God DOES have someone for you to love and be your best friend thru thick and thin for the rest of ur life...just be patient...dont waste ur time on those "relationships" u know arent "IT"...and remember that one day u will have that love/relationship that God intended us to have and share...and you will be bringin ALLLLLLLLLLLLL of you to the table...so think carefully of ur actions/decisions bc they WILL come to light...and as trivial as they may seem to u now...they have the potential to haunt the person you love so much...the person ud lay down ur life for...and there'll be NOTHING u can personally do to keep those past decisions from haunting and bringin pain to ur loved one's heart and mind...do YOUR temple and your future REAL DEAL a favor and make wise decisions now in hopes that your love wont be haunted by the past. Yes, it can be worked thru n make u stronger...but take it from me...i wish it was never a battlefield created...
Hopefully, if i ever run into Turkey* or some other past girl again i handle my thoughts better and i am stronger...realizing that NOTHING..nothing from the past..present...or future..is stronger than wat maurice and i share...thus, no need stressin or havin negative thoughts...leave the past where it belongs (healed and IN THE STINKIN PAST trailin in my farts! did i go too far? i apologize lol). Apparently, im still a work in progress (GEEZ God cant u just make me perfect?!?! haha), but im tryin...and full healing will come in time...I'm so thankful for the love I have been blessed with...and I wish I could've come to him n been able to say "I've saved my entire being for you" and i wish he could've said the same...I wish we woulda met at like..15 and then had been together ever since hahaha...then there'd be no other infiltrating past figures! lol. How ideal right? Anyhoots! No where to go but FORWARD! As we have been doin for the majority...just occassionally people like TURKEY come along n make work a little harder to keep goin forward..but gosh darn it VICTORIOUS WE WILL RISE! ok...im gettin to be too much again...love yourself..love others..love God...and make ur relationship decisions so that, when that day comes, u dont have to hav u or ur beloved find themselves in an encounter with TURKEY*! (i know, i know..prophetic right?lol ) I hope u get the message...and i hope it marinades like a well seasoned steak.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I love my cellulite..
That's right. You didn't misread the title. I LOVE MY CELLULITE. And yes, I HAVE CELLULITE! I realize I weigh a whopping 122 lbs and thanks to my length my little-ness if emphasized, but TRUST..i got cellulite...Location: my once prized possessions...my legs. More so on the posterior side, but it is scattered throughout. I stressed about it quite alot for a while...and occassionally when I sit down on a firm surface I get a little bummed that the cottage cheese from my squished thighs is lookin right at me. I particularly find myself noticing it and dislikin it more when I haven't worked out in a few days or when I've been eating real bad. I think my general feelin of BLAH just makes me notice my undesirable traits a little more. I feel like most people, particularly females, can relate.
For the most part, tho, I really don't mind it! Well..I've LEARNED not to mind it...and I'm n the process of lovin it cuz it doesn't matter how much I work out or eat right I don't think it's gonna go anywhere thanks to genetics, and the lovely and stubborn composition of cellulite. Reesaferd has helped me alot in learnin to love it ,too...i think he's just blinded by love cuz he says he loves my legs and thinks they are perfect...cellulite and all...he also says he can barely see it. I wish I saw what he saw. lol. And actually, that's what I'm starting to do...seeing myself the way He sees me and the way God sees me. Maurice sees my body as entirely flawless...and often when I complain about little things here and there he says to me, "I wish you could see what I see" or "I wish you loved your body the way I do" ...that really hit me hard...cuz he genuinely loves every stinkin ounce of me, and he looks at me as if i have absolutely no flaws...and at first i thought he was just sayin it to be a good boyfriend (ps. he gets REALLY made at me when i say that to him cuz it offends him) but i honestly think he sees no flaws. I started thinkin about it all, and I changed the scenario around and realized that i GENUINELY see absolutely nothing in his body that id wanna tweek or change (such a stud man! lol) so why do i think hes incapable of seein no flaws in me? And why do i have to see the unchangable things about my body as flaws?
The majority of the time I love my body...of course there's times where I play the "what if i had a little more here or a little more there or tweek this a little bit" game, but 97% of the time I truly love my body...for its appearance and for its health! And since my battle since bein preggo is my cellulite i figure i should start lovin that, too. I'm still the same person regardless of what's growing on my backside or any other seemingly undesirable changes my body finds itself doin as I get older (DUH, I know I'm still young..but my body is DEF not wat it was in high school folks!)...and I love who I am...so I need to love what i look like, too...flaws and all!! So this started my "i love my cellulite" kick. I don't care if it sounds like a self-help gig cuz if it makes me more comfortable with it then right on! lol. I've also been more consistent with workin out aka gettin buff (lol) for a while so that makes me FEEL so much better! And if positive changes are the result then i shall accept those changes with open arms..lol. In the mean time, I'm gonna work these long, muscular, yet cellulitey legs like there's no tomorrow! Some 90-something percet of women are experiencin the same thing in some form (cellulite tends to have an affinity to women..how blessed are we) so I am not alone! I hope I'm also not alone in the strive to love it...and to love that "perfectly" created body is...We women can be so hard on ourselves sometime...and it's such a shame cuz if we weren't such hard critics on ourselves we'd prolly find a lot of happiness in lovin our bodies and seeing our bodies the way someone else does (unless that someone else is a mean douche-bag whose opinion doesnt matter anyway..those kind of people happen unfortunately..lol). Oh yea, and SCREW what the media says women are supposed to look like...let's all take the Dove commerical approach yeah? haha...Empower yourselves women...you are beautiful...and we don't give ourselves enough credit...love yourself...and if you find yourself in a similar situation as me...love your cellulite, too...just dont forget to be healthy, too!
For the most part, tho, I really don't mind it! Well..I've LEARNED not to mind it...and I'm n the process of lovin it cuz it doesn't matter how much I work out or eat right I don't think it's gonna go anywhere thanks to genetics, and the lovely and stubborn composition of cellulite. Reesaferd has helped me alot in learnin to love it ,too...i think he's just blinded by love cuz he says he loves my legs and thinks they are perfect...cellulite and all...he also says he can barely see it. I wish I saw what he saw. lol. And actually, that's what I'm starting to do...seeing myself the way He sees me and the way God sees me. Maurice sees my body as entirely flawless...and often when I complain about little things here and there he says to me, "I wish you could see what I see" or "I wish you loved your body the way I do" ...that really hit me hard...cuz he genuinely loves every stinkin ounce of me, and he looks at me as if i have absolutely no flaws...and at first i thought he was just sayin it to be a good boyfriend (ps. he gets REALLY made at me when i say that to him cuz it offends him) but i honestly think he sees no flaws. I started thinkin about it all, and I changed the scenario around and realized that i GENUINELY see absolutely nothing in his body that id wanna tweek or change (such a stud man! lol) so why do i think hes incapable of seein no flaws in me? And why do i have to see the unchangable things about my body as flaws?
The majority of the time I love my body...of course there's times where I play the "what if i had a little more here or a little more there or tweek this a little bit" game, but 97% of the time I truly love my body...for its appearance and for its health! And since my battle since bein preggo is my cellulite i figure i should start lovin that, too. I'm still the same person regardless of what's growing on my backside or any other seemingly undesirable changes my body finds itself doin as I get older (DUH, I know I'm still young..but my body is DEF not wat it was in high school folks!)...and I love who I am...so I need to love what i look like, too...flaws and all!! So this started my "i love my cellulite" kick. I don't care if it sounds like a self-help gig cuz if it makes me more comfortable with it then right on! lol. I've also been more consistent with workin out aka gettin buff (lol) for a while so that makes me FEEL so much better! And if positive changes are the result then i shall accept those changes with open arms..lol. In the mean time, I'm gonna work these long, muscular, yet cellulitey legs like there's no tomorrow! Some 90-something percet of women are experiencin the same thing in some form (cellulite tends to have an affinity to women..how blessed are we) so I am not alone! I hope I'm also not alone in the strive to love it...and to love that "perfectly" created body is...We women can be so hard on ourselves sometime...and it's such a shame cuz if we weren't such hard critics on ourselves we'd prolly find a lot of happiness in lovin our bodies and seeing our bodies the way someone else does (unless that someone else is a mean douche-bag whose opinion doesnt matter anyway..those kind of people happen unfortunately..lol). Oh yea, and SCREW what the media says women are supposed to look like...let's all take the Dove commerical approach yeah? haha...Empower yourselves women...you are beautiful...and we don't give ourselves enough credit...love yourself...and if you find yourself in a similar situation as me...love your cellulite, too...just dont forget to be healthy, too!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Matthew 5: 43-48
Matthew 5:43-48 Love for Enemies "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
I'm struggling with my worldly thoughts. I have VERY few people that I can say I don't like enough to not handle being around...very few as in...one. There's some other people I'd rather not be around, but I can stand it for short periods of time...just one that I'd be fine to never run into again...ok, maybe 2. One guy. One girl.
I do my best to kinda feel people out and not spending large amounts of time around people that I see potentially bringin out certain feelings/emotions/reactions in me that I'd rather not exhibit but are hard to suppress given the provoker. I don't like to get frustrated or angry at people, and I don't like when it's easier for me see the weaknesses of an individual than to see their strengths. EVERYONE has their strengths and weaknesses. EVERYONE has the potential of getting on someone else’s nerves and not EVERYONE is liked by EVERYONE. And there’s nothing wrong with any of that. It’s reality. Often times we seem to surround ourselves with others who share common traits/likes/dislikes/lifestyles/etc because it’s easier to be with others like us. I don’t see there being a problem with that as long as we don’t discriminate and entirely shut out anyone who ISN’T like us.
I like surrounding myself with a good mixture of people..i like hearing different perspectives..i like a little challenge to help me grow..but I also like my close friends who I truly believe we have similar DNA bc we are so similar in so many ways and just the right differences that compliment each other. The reason I have VERY VERY few people on my “UGHHHH don’t like” list is because I choose not to focus on people’s flaws..I find the things I love about them and I focus on that. Often times I’ll recognize the things I don’t like so much about the person and then I’ll question myself as to why I don’t like those traits..i try and see why certain things bother me and then I try and adjust myself and pray for personal growth/patience/change if it’s more of a personal problem that is keeping me from growin deeper with that person…OR if I find that the traits are just principle issues that I don’t respect or like then I simply try and distance myself JUST ENOUGH to still be friends with that person while not letting those certain traits get under my skin. I am all too aware of my own weaknesses and I’m sure there’s plenty of people who limit their time around me bc maybe those weaknesses are the most annoying those possible to someone else…and that’s totally fine. I realize I’m not perfect and I don’t expect everyone to be my “best friend”…all I want is for people to love me enough to pray for me and to hopefully see the Christ in me and the good in me. I know who I am, I know my flaws and I know my strengths…and I love me. Flaws and all! Haha.
So, back to my philosophy on friends. I really do *love* people in general…flaws and all…I just realize that certain characteristics in individuals works my nerves more than others and, thus, I try and remove myself temporarily from that person/provoking characteristic so that I can continue to focus on the good and not get taken over by my worldly agitation and lack of patience. I try to be patient, I REALLY DO! And I think I do a darn good job at it…even when Im EXTRA irritated I think I do a really good job of removing myself from the situation, clarifying my thoughts, calming down, and THEN addressing the issue in a loving and rationale way…the majority of the time this is how I handle things…but every now and then I have a hard time and I just get irritated!
This “every now and then” moment happened within this past year…I was SO patient and prayed and prayed and prayed that God would help me focus on the positives in this individual and continue to love her and take away my rather intense frustration towards her. I def think the prayers helped bc a few years ago when I just said what’s on my mind IMMEDIATELY when I thought of it in the heat of anger I woulda gone CRAZY and unleashed every last one of my thoughts and frustrations in a less than Christian manner. Now, I handle things SO much better…but it aint easy…oooooohhhh no it aint easy. Especially when the person keeps workin their way under my skin persistently. So, I kept praying for peace in my mind, patience with this girl, and I prayed that I’d be understanding…try and understand why she is the way she is so then MAYBE it’d be easier to deal knowing her story. Eventually, I blew up…I apologized afterwards and I genuinely meant it (I meant EVERYTHING I said, but not the manner in which I said it), but I def blew up. And even after tryin to reconcile things she just erked me entirely. And she still does to this day. We don’t speak…we don’t see each other…and we haven’t since we haven’t had to. For the most part, this has been FINE AND DANDY with me…I’m not frustrated all the time and im much more at peace without all that drama and extra-ness…BUT, I started to get concerned with my comfort in never seeing her and my enjoyment in not having the engage with her entirely after matthew 5:43-48 began to marinade. I had heard it before, but for some reason it was marinading now…here I am tryin to grow in my faith, in love, in Christ, and yet I cringe when I see her name on facebook and when her name pops up I’m thinking “I hope she’s doin well but GEEZ im so happy I don’t got to be around her”…how sad, right? I mean, like I said earlier…im not goin to like everyone enough to hang around all the time and THAT’S OK..but to cringe when I first hear/see her name and then rejoice that she is far removed from my life is just sad…and far from what Christ would want of me. Being a Christian isn’t easy dag-gone it…sometimes I just wanna not like someone and remove them entirely from my mind and be happy bc of it…I mean, for real..DO I REAALLLLYYYY gotta love her? God tells me yes. And my heart tells me yes. My mind just says HELL NO! RUN AWAY!!! Hahaha…it’s been an unsettling issue in my spirit for a while now…but I REALLY don’t want to talk to her and that’s what I feel like im bein led to do..i don’t even know what id say tho?!? I still feel the same about her…there are certain things I just cant tolerate and she possesses those things and I don’t see any desire in her to change that…its like its embedded in her..i suppose I could start focusing on her strengths more…cuz she has plenty…shes not like the worst person in the entire world...no where near it.. but its like all I can focus on when I hear her name is the things that erk me…and that’s not fair to her and im carryin unnecessary baggage…
“…He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?...” à YIKERS! That hurts…I KNOW that God wants me to love, ESPECIALLY those that are difficult to love…he clearly states it…and it makes sense…what’s so honorable and great about loving those who are easy to love? Nada…zip…zilch. It’s just so hard…my worldliness butts in and just makes this living Christian thing quick the challenge…but I know it’s all worth it. And my reward in heaven is so much greater than gratification here on earth…its just hard…
God, encourage me to be more like you…help give me the strength to grow in love and enrich my spirit and set aside my pride and the desire to live comfortably so that I can live more with you and live in the peace and love that only you can give. Help me renew relationships that are broken. Help me to see the good in people as I hope others will see the good in me regardless of my flaws. Give me patience and peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to be more like you…humble me…forgive me for faults/thoughts/words…renew in me a new spirit. And please bless those I have lacked in blessing. You have the power to change my thoughts and my heart…make me more like you Lord.
I'm struggling with my worldly thoughts. I have VERY few people that I can say I don't like enough to not handle being around...very few as in...one. There's some other people I'd rather not be around, but I can stand it for short periods of time...just one that I'd be fine to never run into again...ok, maybe 2. One guy. One girl.
I do my best to kinda feel people out and not spending large amounts of time around people that I see potentially bringin out certain feelings/emotions/reactions in me that I'd rather not exhibit but are hard to suppress given the provoker. I don't like to get frustrated or angry at people, and I don't like when it's easier for me see the weaknesses of an individual than to see their strengths. EVERYONE has their strengths and weaknesses. EVERYONE has the potential of getting on someone else’s nerves and not EVERYONE is liked by EVERYONE. And there’s nothing wrong with any of that. It’s reality. Often times we seem to surround ourselves with others who share common traits/likes/dislikes/lifestyles/etc because it’s easier to be with others like us. I don’t see there being a problem with that as long as we don’t discriminate and entirely shut out anyone who ISN’T like us.
I like surrounding myself with a good mixture of people..i like hearing different perspectives..i like a little challenge to help me grow..but I also like my close friends who I truly believe we have similar DNA bc we are so similar in so many ways and just the right differences that compliment each other. The reason I have VERY VERY few people on my “UGHHHH don’t like” list is because I choose not to focus on people’s flaws..I find the things I love about them and I focus on that. Often times I’ll recognize the things I don’t like so much about the person and then I’ll question myself as to why I don’t like those traits..i try and see why certain things bother me and then I try and adjust myself and pray for personal growth/patience/change if it’s more of a personal problem that is keeping me from growin deeper with that person…OR if I find that the traits are just principle issues that I don’t respect or like then I simply try and distance myself JUST ENOUGH to still be friends with that person while not letting those certain traits get under my skin. I am all too aware of my own weaknesses and I’m sure there’s plenty of people who limit their time around me bc maybe those weaknesses are the most annoying those possible to someone else…and that’s totally fine. I realize I’m not perfect and I don’t expect everyone to be my “best friend”…all I want is for people to love me enough to pray for me and to hopefully see the Christ in me and the good in me. I know who I am, I know my flaws and I know my strengths…and I love me. Flaws and all! Haha.
So, back to my philosophy on friends. I really do *love* people in general…flaws and all…I just realize that certain characteristics in individuals works my nerves more than others and, thus, I try and remove myself temporarily from that person/provoking characteristic so that I can continue to focus on the good and not get taken over by my worldly agitation and lack of patience. I try to be patient, I REALLY DO! And I think I do a darn good job at it…even when Im EXTRA irritated I think I do a really good job of removing myself from the situation, clarifying my thoughts, calming down, and THEN addressing the issue in a loving and rationale way…the majority of the time this is how I handle things…but every now and then I have a hard time and I just get irritated!
This “every now and then” moment happened within this past year…I was SO patient and prayed and prayed and prayed that God would help me focus on the positives in this individual and continue to love her and take away my rather intense frustration towards her. I def think the prayers helped bc a few years ago when I just said what’s on my mind IMMEDIATELY when I thought of it in the heat of anger I woulda gone CRAZY and unleashed every last one of my thoughts and frustrations in a less than Christian manner. Now, I handle things SO much better…but it aint easy…oooooohhhh no it aint easy. Especially when the person keeps workin their way under my skin persistently. So, I kept praying for peace in my mind, patience with this girl, and I prayed that I’d be understanding…try and understand why she is the way she is so then MAYBE it’d be easier to deal knowing her story. Eventually, I blew up…I apologized afterwards and I genuinely meant it (I meant EVERYTHING I said, but not the manner in which I said it), but I def blew up. And even after tryin to reconcile things she just erked me entirely. And she still does to this day. We don’t speak…we don’t see each other…and we haven’t since we haven’t had to. For the most part, this has been FINE AND DANDY with me…I’m not frustrated all the time and im much more at peace without all that drama and extra-ness…BUT, I started to get concerned with my comfort in never seeing her and my enjoyment in not having the engage with her entirely after matthew 5:43-48 began to marinade. I had heard it before, but for some reason it was marinading now…here I am tryin to grow in my faith, in love, in Christ, and yet I cringe when I see her name on facebook and when her name pops up I’m thinking “I hope she’s doin well but GEEZ im so happy I don’t got to be around her”…how sad, right? I mean, like I said earlier…im not goin to like everyone enough to hang around all the time and THAT’S OK..but to cringe when I first hear/see her name and then rejoice that she is far removed from my life is just sad…and far from what Christ would want of me. Being a Christian isn’t easy dag-gone it…sometimes I just wanna not like someone and remove them entirely from my mind and be happy bc of it…I mean, for real..DO I REAALLLLYYYY gotta love her? God tells me yes. And my heart tells me yes. My mind just says HELL NO! RUN AWAY!!! Hahaha…it’s been an unsettling issue in my spirit for a while now…but I REALLY don’t want to talk to her and that’s what I feel like im bein led to do..i don’t even know what id say tho?!? I still feel the same about her…there are certain things I just cant tolerate and she possesses those things and I don’t see any desire in her to change that…its like its embedded in her..i suppose I could start focusing on her strengths more…cuz she has plenty…shes not like the worst person in the entire world...no where near it.. but its like all I can focus on when I hear her name is the things that erk me…and that’s not fair to her and im carryin unnecessary baggage…
“…He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?...” à YIKERS! That hurts…I KNOW that God wants me to love, ESPECIALLY those that are difficult to love…he clearly states it…and it makes sense…what’s so honorable and great about loving those who are easy to love? Nada…zip…zilch. It’s just so hard…my worldliness butts in and just makes this living Christian thing quick the challenge…but I know it’s all worth it. And my reward in heaven is so much greater than gratification here on earth…its just hard…
God, encourage me to be more like you…help give me the strength to grow in love and enrich my spirit and set aside my pride and the desire to live comfortably so that I can live more with you and live in the peace and love that only you can give. Help me renew relationships that are broken. Help me to see the good in people as I hope others will see the good in me regardless of my flaws. Give me patience and peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to be more like you…humble me…forgive me for faults/thoughts/words…renew in me a new spirit. And please bless those I have lacked in blessing. You have the power to change my thoughts and my heart…make me more like you Lord.
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