Oh PAYCHECKS??? Where are youuuuu???

SOOOOO I've been working full time since July, yet everytime I look at my bank account I get so bummed out bc I don't see any growth in the number next to the phrase "available balance". It's been 5 stinkin months of full time workin yieldin great paychecks so im thinkin "shouldnt my bank account say i have more moolah?!?!" It's just kind of frustrating...GRANTED i have bought ALOT of great things for the apt, i HAVE an apt, i paid OFF my car, i been able to pay all my bills/groceries/etc, and i was able to pay for my Lasik eye surgery all on my own so i can see the fruit of my labor in what I have bought/paid for but GEESH...I want to SAVE money. I want to see growth in my bank account! I know that time will come...it's just kind of frustrating for now...and I am definitely grateful for all that I have been able to pay for...I'm just ready to have savings...start investing...start building a home down payment fund!! :)

BUT life happens...car brakes wear down and need replacing, student loans need to be paid off, the monthly bills wont ever stop a-flowin...and IN TIME i know ill be able to see financial growth esp in savings...not to mention reesaferd will be graduatin in december (GO REESE!!!) so as long as we dont run into troubles with the economy in regards to hiring new grads he will be working soon too so bills will be split which will be AMAZING!! He obviously hates the fact that he can't help out financially right now, but patience is a virture...and both of us need to work on that! Me needin to be patient with seeing growth in savings...and him needin to be patient with graduating and finding a job. Lord, grant us peace and patience!!!

Anyhoots...I'm thankful for the financial situation I am in and the wonderful job I have...I'm just ready to start seeing a number that reflects growth in my savings..im ready to see the fruit of my labor via the number next to "available balance"! But for now...thankful for what i got...workin on patience for that to come in the future...p.s. life costs too much...hahaha...

My Friends..My Roots...

So this weekend reesaferd and I headed up to the 3-1-7 to celebrate 3 of my main ladies' october birthdays...Included in this fun-filled festivity was LOUD conversating and laughin (ya know..the usual) at Benihanas followed by goofin off at the Vogue (which was WHACK...but we were clownin doin our dag-gone thang so of course we had fun! DUH sillys!!). I am just *so blessed* to have such amazing friends who been by my side all the way back to the high school days...the parties, the infamous "lunch table", all of our poor choices in boyfriends (no one is exempt from this..hahaha), the vacations, the photo shoots, the STRAIGHT CLOWNIN, the drivin around thinkin we were swagalicious FOR REAL...hahahah oh GLORY thank ya Jesus for deliverance!! and for friends/family who love us even when we are a hot mess!! haha! I'm just so appreciative to have such amazing women on my team...to be the trustworthy and nonjudgmental ears when i need to vent, to be able to goof around and clown just like me, to be GENUINELY interested and invested in me and my well-being, to fellowship with, to grow with, to laugh at the past with and celebrate the present and future with, to grub with (WE GETS DOOOWWWWWNNNN), to just DO LIFE with. It is so rare to find a pack of DRAMA FREE, just enjoyin life, always ready for goofin around, and trustworthy females...and to have so many similarities but JUST enough differences to balance each other out...These ladies have seen me thru my toughest times, the best times, and all that comes in between. I just feel so proud to be surrounded by simply AMAZING women...I have many other friends ALL whom I appreciate and love as well, but this specially goes out to my 3-1-7 ladies..yall are my roots...and I cannot be more grateful for your friendship and loyalty...even tho we were ALL a hot mess in high school when we first started hangin out we all somehow turned out to be quite the fine individuals...and i think we owe that in part to eachother..for the individual and group contributions made to help shape us into who we are today...I love you guys!! And I'm so blessed to have you all to share my life with...So thankful for my roots :)

Have no fear! Chef Jessi's Here!!!

AH HAAAAAAAA CALL ME BETTY CROCKER CUZ THE CHEF IS IN THE HOUSE!!! hahaha...turns out my last minute meal idea turned out to be FANTABULOUS! it smelled delicious but i was still a little hesitant, but after i concentrated on a spoonful of my creation i was so geeked! I know it's not like it's a meal fit for the food network, and my older brother tried to put me to shame by makin some crazy ridiculous amazing tilapia meal for my dad and grandma but gosh darn it im so proud of myself for my whipped together in 10 minutes meal!!! Ya gotta start somewhere right?? Hopefully my big bruhder will show a sista some love and help me out with the upgrades!! With my mom and sean around you'd expect me to be chef-boyar-jessi!! I keep tellin myself "in time jessi...in time...." hahaha.. Here's to a delicious nutritious meal!!!! :)

A part of me wants to be like Betty Crocker...but I'm just not quite there!!

Sooooo here's the story...i get off work at 730 this mornin with the realization that i have NO FOOD at home to make a lunch for work tonight and i dont want to fork out a week's pay to buy food from the hospital (although the food is QUITE delicious if i do say so myself) SO i had a decision to make: go to subway and buy a tuna footlong for $5 and eat two meals for $2.50 a pop OR go to Kroger's in my scrubs and pick up much needed stock for the fridge. After consultation with the Mr., I made the trip to the good ol Bellevue Krogers...I RACED around the store getting what I think I needed to get by for a few days and then an inspirational meal came to mind! MAYBE i could get some buy some beef cubes, beef broth, onion soup mix...throw it in my crock-pot with cut up carrots and potatoes...let it cook all day while im snooooooozin...and then WAH-LAH! Delicious meal...????

I really wanna be a good cook...more and more I find myself wishin i made more homecooked meals and was actually good at it..lol...maybe im not the susie homemaker type, but dag-gone it ima try!! So here's to a day of my slow cookin last minute idea for a filling meal...let us pray i awake to a sweet aroma of delicious beef/carrots/potatoes so that i wont go hungry and go into debt by continuing to buy hospital dinners...

Goodnight everyone!!!!!

Fall fun with the hunny

Thanks to basketball season bein O-V-E-R for my reesaferd, he is finally able to come home more while at school and this past thursday thru sunday was his fall break so he came home for some quality T-I-M-E! Thursday was spent with me sleeping all day since i worked wednesday night, but the rest of the week i was actually able to somewhat flip to a "normal" schedule and be awake during the day...Thursday evening we went to our church small group (i LOVE my small group..love the fellowship w great people)..the discussion was a lot about our "visions" for a fruitful relationship with God, in our marriage/family life, and in our professional life. I really enjoyed this discussion especially when Reese and I got to share our vision for our marriage/family/professional life...Brian Tome (our Sr Pastor) has been talkin about how in order to grow we hav to cultivate our garden...plant the right seeds...root ourselves in Jesus...and WORK at achieving our vision of growth...I have really loved this series thus far especially bc i truly see a growth in my personal relationship with God and I also hav already seen a growth in Maurice and my relationship...the discussions that hav been sparked and the connections and visions made together i genuinely believe will help us to continue to grow with roots embedded in Christ...it does my heart SO GOOD knowin i hav a man who loves the Lord and desires a growing relationship with Him...i know that life will hav a lot of tests n difficult times ahead for the "goof troop" family (thats what maurice n i r callin our family of 2 and our future family of more..lol) but with us both rooted in Christ I truly believe there is nothing we cant handle...n that does my heart SO good..GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!

Friday we started off with our tradition of going to a $5 movie followed by a little strategic movie hopping so to actually see two movies for $5 (shweet deal right)..anyhoots! We saw "couples retreat" and "law abiding citizen"...both GRRRRRREAT movies! Couples Retreat was a light-hearted funny feel good movie followed by the intense and action packed Law Abiding Citizen...FABO...then we went to his moms house n he went "somewhere" with his mother dearest (he says they went to his moms office but there was something missing in his story...sneaky boy!! lol)...while they went wherever they went i laid down for a bit cuz i felt kinda nasty...i think i ate moldy bread wednesday night but didnt realize it till afterwards when it was discovered that all the other pieces of bread in the loaf were rather moldalicious...very unfortunate situation...anyhoots!

Felt better by Saturday mornin so i was able to stomach my suprise breakfast in bed brought by the Mr. Maitre'd...then it was football time followed by pumpkin patch/hayride/corn maze fun followed by church at the best church ever CROSSROADS and then a grand finale of a glass of Asti (basically the only "alcohol" we really like) and dancin the foxtrot in the living room to frank sinatra...hahaha hilarious image ur gettin now right? Maurice and Jessi...foxtrotting...alone...in our apartment...HAHAHHA i laugh everytime i think about it...absolutely loved it tho! We r obviously big goof balls w a love for the classics :) He's my prince charmin!!

Today...I sang the nat'l anthem at my "little sister" Michelle's volleyball game...I LOVE watching her team play..it makes me miss volleyball big time! We left early tho cuz the good ol Bengals were playin so we had to get back for the game...ok so lets get real...MAURICE had to get back for the game, I would've been fine w stayin at the vball game! But i do love football too so it worked...after the game we took a walk down by the river (one of my FAVORITE things to do) n then i had to take him half way back to school...BOOOOOOO...lol...i cant even complain tho cuz i got such a GREAT 4 days w my best friend...cant wait for December 16 when hes back for good tho!

I *LOVE* the fall so much...and im gona enjoy it while its here! but I cant

wait for thanksgiving...and then the Christmas Season cuz thatll mean

Reesaferd will be home for GOOD! FINALLY! :)

Today, I'm praying for a continued growth in Maurice and my relationship...i pray to see growth in my relationship with Jesus and i pray that the growth i obtain will produce fruit in my life and in the lives of those i share life with..I'm praying for peace in the Crider family..that they will rest in God's hand and depend on Him in this rather stressful yet exciting time..I pray that God would show them the doors that hav been opened and will continue to open now that one door has been shut..I pray that my personal "need" for control will decrease so that God can increase in my life..God, i ask that you would help me to fully remain in you as you have incessantly remained in me...I ask that you would watch over my family, friends, and loved ones...protect them from harm and guide their hearts closer to u...Put people in Tori's life so to bring her closer to you...as she grows, mold her heart into a heart that yearns for u and loves like u...i thank u for ur goodness...for all uve done in my life and for those i love...i thank u for ur mercy, ur faithfulness, ur guidance, and the peace that only u can give...open my heart...help me to love more...i look forward to growin growing closer with you n seein u even more present in my life..i pray this in the name of ur son..my savior...Jesus Christ...amen!

I can see clearly now...my eyes are fixed!!!

L-A-S-I-K!!!!!!! Sooooo I *finally* did it! I got lasik eye correction on the lovely day of October 7, 2009!!! I was able to pay for it using my FSA and with some xtra moola i had saved up and im so happy i did it! I still get a little confused here and there...ESPECIALLY when im going to bed or waking up because im so used to being blurry as i go to bed and when i wake up! I even look for my contact solution on my sink before bed bc i think i need to take my contacts out hahaha...proof that old habits are hard to break!! My eyes were RATHER scratchy and dry the 1st 2 days especially, but now just more so dry every now n then requirin some quality artificial tears...haha. My mother dearest was able to come down from Indy to take to me to and from my surgery and im super dee duper glad i got to spend that day w her! We went fall festive shopping before my appointment which was fabo fun...especially now cuz my patio looks like some serious fall festivity!! I loves it! I've always loved what my mom has done w our house in regards to decorating, especially for holidays and the seasons, but i never know what an impact it has til now...as ive been decorating more n more i take so much pride in my apartment i call home and it just makes it so much more cozy!! Decorations are so much more than pleasing to the eye or just for show...they add a special touch to the home and im glad my lovely maternal figure passed that on!! :) AND im glad she encouraged me to get lasik cuz this is grrrrrreat!!! For anyone in the greater cincinnati area wantin lasik i highly recommend LasikPlus in Kenwood with Dr. Marino...great service and procedure WELL DONE! Im not gonna lie tho i still have a little part of me that fears that my cornea flap is gonna suddenly dislodge or something bc i always gotta find some risk to stress over...pathetic? indeed!! So far NO PROBLEMS and i trust God will continue to heal my lovely little eyeballs...haha...anyhoots...WAHOO TO NEW EYES!!

The reason to my new blogging kick...

Ok so here's the deal...I am a *firm* believer in humility and remainin humble at all times..not sure if this was just passed down from what my parentals modeled, or maybe just from seeing that at the drop of a dime things can change REALLY quick so ive found a protective shield in minimizing all the good things that happen cuz just as fast as i start sharin my joy could something happen to change things up...or it could be that i feel bad sharin alot of myself w others (esp when its all good stuff) cuz its that humility kickin in n takin over leavin me hesitant to spread my happy moments JUUUUST in case the person im sharin w is goin thru some hard times n now ive just poured salt on open wounds...Now, just to clarify...im by NO means sayin my life has been nuthin but a few happy moments bombarded by countless flying boulders leavin me to play the leading role in the "poor ole jessi show"...ALL im sayin is that ive gone thru life w eyes wide open n ive seen just as many smiles as struggles...just as many laughs as tears...and while my PERSONAL journey has consisted of its share of struggles which i like to call "trials" i whole-heartedly believe that they hav built me up and have helped mold me to be the woman i am today...they have helped build my character n hav given me a broader perspective to life which i am very thankful for...

Now, where im goin w this is (at times i can be the queen of tangents..lol) that i think that somewhere along the road i began to keep everything in unless it was something i was strugglin w...i felt like its easier for people to listen to another's struggle than their joys bc no one wants to hear good news shoved down their throat ESPECIALLY when things arent all that great for them...i think i took this to the xtreme tho...its like i programmed myself in thinkin that people didnt WANT to hear the good things goin on in my life or in the lives of those i loved..i just kept the "jessi news" on the low-low so not to be that loathed individual who's always thinkin shes important enough to share everything w everyone...and THEN i got to lookin more into the things people post on facebook/myspace/blogs/etc...for those who always seemed to hav a new post up regarding time they r sharin w this person or the awesome weekend they just had i initially was thinkin "ummmm y r u sharin?...does it just make ya feel better?" n then i REALLY got to thinkin...n ive come to the conclusion that YES! YES, it feels better to share ur joys w others...even if its on a facebook status that people may or may not read nor care about...why? i have come to believe that there is power in OWNING your joys by CLAIMING them, n i truly believe that thoz individuals who do share themselves and their JOYS more than others do so not bc life is truly "perfect" and ALL smiles but bc, for the time being, things r lookin up and dag-gone-it they own that! AS THEY SHOULD...

after i finally came to the realization of the power in sharing oneself and claiming joys i actually found myself envious of those who had been doin it for so long...i was so bent on remaining so humble that i began to minimize ALL of the *BLESSINGS* that happen in my life EvErYdAy!! With the reality of the struggles that occur every second of everyday for so many.. poverty, hunger, addictions, poor spirits, and all the other daily stresses that r common to us all, its like i forgot to take the time to remember all the GOOD things that are happening...and not just say "yea theres good things happen but what about all of ...BLAH BLAH BLAH...that needs help n attention" but actually givin the good things in life the time they deserve. Ive always been a fun-lovin, high spirited individual especially when im celebrating the joys of others...but i havnt done enough claiming of my joys enough...and i figure why not start NOW!

SOOOOOOOOOOO......

...thats where this whole blog idea came to fruition..I decided i would write about my life...id claim my joys, share my frustrations/trials/tears, and get my thoughts out of my head (where they need not linger for too long for my own mental health sake..haha) by writing on a blog that is free for anyone to read if they so desire or entirely ignore if they so choose...i always am excited to hear about the joys of others n i borderline think ive been unfair in thinkin that the "small stuff", whether joyful, trying, or just simple unprovoking updates in my life dont matter enough to others so as not to share...so here i am! Here to share w those of u who choose to listen...and here for myself as well...just to keep myself in check that i am claiming my joys along w the rest of my journey...even if no one were to ever read this or any of my blogs i think ill find peace just in the journaling process...It'll be a good way to look back and reflect, too! And since ill *hopefully* be getting engaged/married soon followed by all those many fun milestones to come ill hav a lot to talk about n then later in life reflect upon...in nursing they tell us that "if it wasn't documented then it wasnt done!" and while that is obviously a little extremem in the non-nursing/health profession world i do think that the documentation will be good to look back and reflect upon...SO...here's to the beginning of Jessi's rendition of blogging hahaha!!

*Forewarning...i foresee that at times ill just be scattered

brained n just in journalin mode...if thats the case, i apologize

for any difficulty in following if u attempt to do so...my mind

can jump topics in a split second leavin it often difficult to

keep up sooooo i apologize in advance for any typos/"disorganized"

thinking (i put that in quotes cuz its somehow organized n

makes total sense to me..haha)/ etc etc

P.s. this was a LOOONG first blog..GEESH! ok..take care now...byebye then :)