*Pics from the Proposal*

I have some pretty darn awesome photographer friends ...ok so maybe they aren't actual photographers but they captured some GREAT pics from one of the most special days of my life and I'm so very grateful! I'm also grateful my super fabo fiancee had my friends there at the proposal so that pics could be takin to capture the moment! Or i suppose the "immediately after" moment lol. Documentation of emerging from the basement below:

*MY MAID (technically "matron" lol) OF HONOR* Love her!

I should be a hand model. Dont hate. ps. Candycane nails=awesome! hahaha

Cheesin TOO hard..lovin the looks of my ring finger :)

CANT WAIT TO HAVE THE WEDDING BAND CUZ THATLL MEAN WE ARE MARRIED! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!

The hunt continues

This whole wedding planning business is crazy! I saw how on wedding shows on TV were really expensive but i just figured thats bc these people were doin all this extra stuff and while alot of them were WEDDINGS ARE STINKIN EXPENSIVE!! With both Reese and my families + closest friends we are lookin at around 240 people and im tellin ya...these prices im gettin from people are CRAZY!!! Too dag-gone expensive...even churches are expensive! Granted we are looking at downtown cathedrals but $1000 just for the rental fee?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!? Exploitation much?? I'm just tryna marry my mister not go BANKRUPT! GEESH!

And then searching for reception venues has been quite the doosy, too! I feel like I want to narrow my list down to just a handful before i go actually look at the venues bc i dont want 1000 stops at different venues to pick one! I want it to look nice and all but the main thing i want is for people to have FUN!! I really like the idea of the reception at a hotel so i wont have to worry about people driving drunk (i have no tolerance for it), but every place ive tried callin so far their wedding coordinators are unavailable at that given time...figures...lol.

I just cant wait to finally have the ceremony and venue booked and the date set and OFFICIAL!!! That would make me vewy vewy happy....yes it would. lol. Anyhoots...for now the hunt for the ceremony/venue site continues...and thus so does the hunt for a date...hopefully this hunt ends soon so i can get on the funner part of planning! Yes...i said FUNNER and i dont intend of correcting that...thank you...and if people even read this blog and happen to have any wedding ceremony/reception sites to recommend here in indy or even in cincinnati let a sistah know!!! Take care now...byebye then!

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! TORTURE!!!!

I can't do it...I can't wait. Feb 5, 2011 is the *probable* (NOT definite) wedding date. We've been talking wedding talk for a long time being that we knew we'd be getting married for almost 2.5 years now and we always envisioned a winter or fall wedding...but mostly a winter wedding. It just sounds so classy, warm, beautiful...and we just picture ourselves getting married in the late fall or winter. BUT I CANT WAIT UNTIL FEB 5 2011!! It sounded great at first. February is a romantic month in general...itll be cold outside but nice and cozy inside at our wedding with all our loved ones. It'll be cheaper than standard May-October weddings since it's considered an "off-season month"...but i just wanna marry him :( I want him to be my husband. I want to be his wife. We have God centered at our relationship and our lives but I want it to be "official". I want to be MARRIED to my best friend, the one I'll spend the rest of life's journey with, the one God put in my life to push me to limits i never thought i could reach and to give me the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for, his love. Yea i know it sounds a little mushy...little corny...cliche maybe too...but i mean it i really really do. I have felt so ALIVE ever since he came into my life...being loved by him is hands down the greatest gift God has given me (other than God's love itself! haha). And being able to love him back is so rewarding...really let myself simply be me...and love unconditionally without any worry or doubt of my outpouring being abused, betrayed, unappreciated... Since I've let God pour into me I've seen blessings after blessings unfold...and i truly believe Reese is one of them...God sent me someone who would love me just as He loves me...it's like I have God's love in tangible form via Reese! lol. Seriously tho!!

And I just feel so brand new since ive set my heart on God and since Ive finally let myself fully love another...These past 2.5 years have made my heart grow 10 to the 10th power in size I just know it!! hahahaha...and im just so full and alive with him that its hard waiting another to be joined as man and wife!! I'm so ready for that next chapter in our journey...He's been my husband for over 2 years in my heart and spirit...but im ready for it to be official...I want the union, I want the last name to be shared with him, I want it all...

I understand weddings take time to plan especially when ya got big families on both sides, but more than ever all of that seems so minute to me...I just want to be his wife. The "dream wedding" would be great and all but whether its beautiful, well planned, etc or NOT...in the end we'd still be MAN AND WIFE and THATS wat is most important to me...

The fiancee (still sounds weird to me hahaha) REALLY likes the date feb 5, 2011 but he wants to be married sooner, too...hes more patient than me tho...he's willing to look into earlier dates but i really think his heart is set on feb 5...we will see tho...dec 4 2010 is still in the running, too...i really could go for september or october tho...LOVE the idea of winter wedding...but i LOVE the thought of being married to him even more...so we'll see...until then...please pray with me for my patience...and for wisdom...am i being too hasty? or is this God's push in me??

Oh Lord grant me your peace...rest this heart and mind of mine...and make wat YOU want to happen, happen...you know so much better than I (good thing!)...i thank you for giving me love on earth TWICE in my life thru ur son and thru maurice...and in my family and close friends, too...uve just been so good to me...thank you God for your goodness...now if you could rest this heart and mind of mine id be much appreciative :) and id really love a sooner wedding date, too soooo if u could make that happen AWESOME...unless ur plans r different then please just help me to follow u and not myself... you are loved and adored...Love, ur daughter Jessi

**Happy New Year**

Just wanted to have a blog with the date "January 1, 2010" sooooooo now i can go. This year let's all focus on loving more!!! And eating delicious breakfasts such as bacon and eggs (a classic)...im gonna go do that right now!!! Buttery biscuit. Add gravy. Love to all!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Happy New Year's Eve! Let the Journey continue!!

What am I gonna be doin goin into 2010?? Chillin at the parentals house with the fiancee..playing pool...watching the bowl games..and just relaxin...and im lovin it..haha. Reese and I are such old folk. When discussing what we wanted to do to bring in the new year we discussed goin out, goin to friends' houses, and then almost simultaneously we looked at each other and said "let's just chill" hahahaha...we're such losers. But the good thing is we BOTH are so we got each other to hang with so it works!!!

As for a New Years resolution? I dont really have one...its a good idea and all but if u know there's something that needs to change in ur life or that u need to weed out, improve on, build into, etc than why wait for the new year? Start THE DAY you realize it! Another day is never guaranteed and ya gotta make the most of the NOW so i try and make my changes and tweek wat needs to be tweeked with every moment im given. Now dont get me wrong i do plenty of these moments: "Man I know i need to work on my patience...buuuuuuuut im really irritated and this just isnt even rt" and i start playin the excuse game and then say ill work on my patience next time. It happens ok? Dont judge me. lol. And for the record God has worked on me and my patience level quite a bit...but im still a work in progress...still gettin molded to become wat my creator intended me to be...

Things that I HOPE TO DO in 2010 tho is to continue to grow in relationship w God, plan reese and my wedding with my mama, possibly GET MARRIED (but its lookin more like early 2011...we want a classy yet SUPER FUN winter wedding), take the time to really enjoy the wedding plannin process, and possibly get involved in the music ministry at our church, Crossroads. Something else I plan on continuing to do is digging into my faith and searching for where God wants me to be in my faith journey. I was raised catholic, but ive been goin to an "inter-faith" church for the past 3 years and i LOVE IT and have GROWN SO MUCH because of it, but i OFTEN have different members of my immediate/extended family encouraging me to "come back" to catholicism bc of this, that, and the other and they r so genuine in their concern and sometimes it makes me rethink things...like maybe there's something about catholicism ive missed and need to re-look at...i dunno...to me its just a bunch of religion...and i pray about it constantly and i feel at peace with my decision about crossroads and my growth in my faith and relationship with God...until somebody brings up the "come back to catholicism" talk...Now, i have NOTHING against the catholic church...if that works for u and ur growth in ur faith and relationship w God then RIGHT ON...but i just dont havnt experienced that in the catholic faith...and i dont see the need to claim a sect of christianity...i just want to LOVE GOD GEEEEEEEEZ!! Why am I questioned and why are people concerned about me just bc i dont go to a catholic church?? IM LOVING GOD, GROWING IN HIM, LETTING HIM GROW IN ME, AND ACTIVELY PURSUING HIM DAILY...in accompaniment with attending weekly service, volunteering in my church community, and loving every minute of being a part of such a great community...i just dont get how the religious sect can be SO important??

I still want to have a catholic wedding, tho. The catholic church has played such a large part in reese and my life and we have so much respect for the catholic church...it also would be pleasing to our families since the majority of our families (both sides of mine, the dads side of his) are catholic...and we really are still searching and still looking to deepen our faith...however that may be...catholic...or interfaith...etc. We just love God, want to grow in and with him, and we will do that in watever way He leads us to. I hope that we are supported by our loved ones with watever path we are lead to. And i hope i can find a final peace about it all. I hope we all can find a peace about it all.

Anyhoots! I pray everyone has a safe entry into 2010 and u treat everyday as a chance to make those "new years resolutions" a RIGHT NOW possibility. May God surround you all with His love, peace, and blessings...HE IS GOOD!!! So thankful for 2009 and all he showed me, gave me, taught me, helped me accomplish, and challenged me with. Lookin forward to 2010!! Let the journey continue!!!!!

Soon to be Mrs. Brown :)

HE PROPOSED!!!! The day finally came...I knew it was coming for a while (us getting engaged, that is) but now it finally is a reality and i got the ring to prove it! And it's BEAUTIFUL!! He did a great job...it's absolutely perfect :)

How'd he do it? Well here's the story...

Every year my 317 ladies and I have our annual Jesus Party (He is the reason for the season yall!!), and this year the date was set for Saturday Dec 26, 2009. Apparently, Reese had been planning the party behind the scenes..even tho i thought I was the whole time..silly me...lol. My 317 ladies had known apparently for a quite a while his plans of proposing to me on the day of our jesus party so he would talk with my friends so that THEY would then basically pull my puppet strings to dance the way reese wanted me to dance...so essentially i had a part in planning my proposal as well hahaha. Anyhoots..just for background he essentially planned the DAY, LOCATION, TIME, etc of the Jesus party (which i guess could also be now called the proposal party). Usually we just have the girls at the party but this year we included significant others bc we said we were gonna make it more of a "celebration party" bc so many of us had something to celebrate (graduation, getting out of orientation, a recent move, etc) so there were more people at the party than usual...apparently this was orchestrated as well...i been bamboozled for real...

REWIND to Reese and Jessi's first kiss....picture it. We are at the Kovatch house and about to play a game of pool, best of 3 wins. If he wins, I have to crawl across the table and kiss him on the cheek. If I win, he has to wear a Dwight Freeney jersey for a week. Result--> I lost. So i made my way across the pool table (no damage was done to the leveling of the table..thank ya jesus im light...oh yea and dont yall start thinkin i was crawlin all trifalen and sexy cuz yall KNOW i was goofin off the whole way lol). At the end of the pool table crawl/jig I went to kiss him on the cheek...and that turned into the first kiss. How beautiful right? hahahaha.

FAST-FORWARD to Dec 26, 2009.

Reesaferd: "You been sayin we'd have a re-match in pool...so lets go then"

The beautiful one: "WHY NOW?!? all my friends are here and i dont wanna go downstairs to play a game of pool."

Then, after remembering reesaferd stating that i ask too many questions and ill prolly never allow him to propose to me bc of all the questions i ask, i decided not to ask anymore questions and just go play the game of pool.

Game one. Jessi the fabulous wins. Reesaferd racks the table. Reesaferd wins. Jessi begins to rack the table.

The beautiful one realizing reesaferd wont even roll down the balls in the far corner pocket: "Dang you can't even help me out?"

Reesaferd: "You lost...u rack em"

As I rolled around to the last pocket..I reached down into the pocket for the balls and there it was! The most beautiful brown box I've ever seen. By the time I pulled it out and looked up at him he was on one knee, making my heart melt with his words, and tearin up (it was allergies guys really...allergies...). My answer? Well I sat and deliberated for a while...weighed the pros and cons... oh who am i kiddin i said YES before he could finish all his beautiful words hahahaha...i kinda wish i couldve suppressed my natural reaction to say YES just to harrass him and give him a hard time but i was too excited, the ring was too pretty, and i love him too dag-gone much.

"Everyone upstairs already knows...dont they?" I asked.

"Oh yeah" he replied.

"Well just for the that then let's play another game and make em wait!" hahahaha

After we finished the last game of the 3 (i lost...dont judge me) we headed upstairs and when we opened the door i had my closest friends and my family there with balloons, poppers, cameras, hugs, and shouts for the newly engaged couple!!!

*IT WAS PERFECT*

We both knew that a ring/engagement was in the future bc we've know for essentially our entire 2.5 year relationship that we'd be getting married one day (he still claims he knew from the first day he met me...apparently the first time we met he told his friend, nicole, "I'm gonna marry her one day"...and she actually validates this claim...i still think it was a lightweight, not serious remark but he stands by his claim that he KNEW he'd marry me one day). I'm so happy that this day was SO special, tho...even tho we both knew itd happen at some point he planned everything so perfect so that this day would be special and a memorable milestone in our lives. He's the greatest :)

Now we're just SO GEEKED to get the ball rollin and get married!!! I'd marry him today if there wasn't wedding planning to do!! I just can't wait to enter into a new level with him in marriage...can't wait to be MRS. JESSICA BROWN and the female co-ceo of the Goof Troop family (that's what we are callin out family...the goof troop..t-shirts will be available soon for Goof Troop members and supporters)

Now it's time for WEDDING PLANNING!!!! Not that i havent been lookin into stuff for the past 2 years hahahahha...but now i actually get to PLAN!!! and I actually will GET MARRIED!!! Oh im just so geeked...and SO BLESSED and thankful that God led us to eachother...Can't wait to start the next chapter of our lives as Mr. and Mrs. Brown :)

LET THE WEDDING PLANNING BEGIN!!

CHRISTMAS IS IN THREE DAYS!!! CRAZY!!!!! Perdy dag-gone exciting if ya ask me!!! It's such a humbling day...God sent his son to be born in a MANGER (not such a stereotypically king like crib eh?)..in essentially RAGS...and born the SAME WAY you and i are born (unless u were born c-section of course lol)...and yet this little baby born in such humble and far from king-like conditions God knew would be King of Kings and save us all. Not only was he BORN in humble and "normal, un-king like conditions" but he DIED a death that seems so unfit for a king. Atleast unfit for the worldly kings. It's just such a humbly and sobering time for me because in all my craziness, with all my mistakes, and for all those rather humanly errors i still have yet to make God sent his SON done to be born to live, teach, and die for ME...for YOU...because His love is just THAT GREAT. It just blows me away and while I often feel so unworthy of such love, compassion, mercy, grace I know that that is WHO God is and if I truly wasn't worth it then God never would've sent His son down to us. As I grow older Christmas grows deeper and deeper to me and in me...I joke around a lot sayin "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!" and wat not but i truly am geeked as corny as i sound bc im so grateful i have his birthday to celebrate!! He wouldnt have been BORN if he didnt have a BIRTHDAY...DUH! lol. Na but seriously...im just so humbled and in awe by God and those that sit to the right and left of Him and im so happy we have this time of year to celebrate because HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED!!

Ok...sooooo i could go on forever about my man Jesus but now ill go onto my worldy things...lol. Soooo STILL workin on Reesaferd's stocking but making some SERIOUS progress! And wats REALLY exciting is he decided he wanted to make MINE so hes been sittin right next to me making mine while i make his!!! Im not gonna lie...i kinda doubted him....but mans a beast...lol...please everyone take a second to sit and picture maurice (a 6' 7" 235 lb basketball player) sewing sequins on a stocking...AHHHH ITS AMAZING hahahahahaha!!! hes the greatest :) It's been awesome havin him home, too. I can jump on him and attack him with my killer hugs and crop dust him ALL THE TIME NOW! life doesnt get much sweeter. We went to the festival of lights the day he came back and i really think i looked like a 4 year old goin out and exploring christmas lights for the first time...i sure as heck felt like it...when he kissed me i felt too young for it and i thought i was gonna get cooties from holdin his hand. Ok. Maybe not. But i did feel like a little one in wonderland but thats kinda me and him all the time sooooooo i suppose its nothing new so i should stop makin a big deal out of it. How sad. Anyhoots...we LOVED IT! it was a little frigid but our LOVE WAS HOT LIKE FI-AH!!! So we stayed warm.

Now I just gotta get thru work tomorrow. Then itll be CHRISTMAS EVE so well have the AWAITED show at Crossroads in accompaniment with SCRUMPTIOUS hot cocoa and then hangin out all day till dinner with his family that evening!!! Then...back to work but only for 8 hours on Christmas day...followed by driving DIRECTLY to indy for christmas din din with my fam-o and then the annual Jesus party on Saturday with my indy gurls+significant others!! Im super geeked. Then its christmas with his dads side of the fam on sunday...then work work ...then new years EVE plus kovatch christmas get together!!! THEN itll be 2010!!!! THIS IS MADNESS PEOPLE!!! SHEER INSANITY!!!! Time has flown fa real fa real! Tori (jaliyah) will then turn the big 6 on jan 3!! CANT U BELIEVE IT!!!! I cant believe it's really been 6 years...just crazy....anyhoots! Im gettin all worked up and excited but i gotta be asleep right now cuz i gotta wake up when its still pitch black tomorrow morning....i didnt intend to be typing/talking for this long...this has been a live broadcast from the lovely and fantabulous jessi...until next time...eat your fruits and veggies.